K9 and Commentary

[0:00]

Hello, dear listener, and welcome to a very special episode of Flight Through Entirety.

This is going to be a commentary track for Canine and Company, a Girls Best Friend, but if you haven't pressed play yet, don't worry, because neither have we.

I'm Brendan.

I'm Nathan.

I'm Todd.

I'm Richard.

And if you haven't listened to our podcast, Bong Finger yet, shame on you, but also, the way we work is this.

We are still on the DVD menu of K9 and Company, a girl's best friend, and I will be giving you a special code word in a moment, and that's when you will know how to press play.

And the reason I don't use the word play is because Nathan, Richard, and O. James Selwood, um, now, um, O. James, uh, now O. James Applewood, I believe.

He's refusing to use that name, so I'm going to use it until he does.

Will often try to get me to prematurely start the DVD.

So, um, the code word for this uh, episode of Flight through entirety.

[01:01]

So get ready on your play buttons.

The code word will be Hekate.

So the next time I say that word, I would like you to press play on your DVDs.

Or just listen to this in the car, really. much different.

Yeah.

Hekate.

It's saying something Oh, that worked.

And we've got Scooby Scooby-Doo. where are you We've got this wonderful theme written by Ian Levine and Fianca Trench.

Look at Jesus' ponies.

And in defence of the theme, they didn't intend for it to be this sort of pseudo disco-y.

This was pretty much a demo track they put together for Peter Howell and said, look, Peter, with your resources, you can improve on this.

And he said, no, that's great.

They said, really?

And he said, yes.

And this is how we ended up with this, which was, I believe, released as a 7 inch single.

And there's another 7 inch.

I thought they were trying to, um, Oh, good God, that running outfit.

I thought I thought they were trying to do a murder she wrote style opening credits.

[02:06]

I mean, this thing, poor old...

Have another drink, Liz, you'll forget you were ever in it.

Liz hated that car.

She's playing 2nd fiddle to the dog.

She's not in the title.

It's not the Sarah Jane Adventures.

It really is just fetishising Kano.

All these close-ups of his ears and all of that sort of thing.

It's giant embarrassment.

Yeah, that's right.

And friend of the podcast, Simon Hart, and his friends once did a title sequence called Scion Company, where he reenacts that because he did this whole series of photographs going up and down the country doing Psy camps it up with the stars, getting this photo taken back to back with various Doctor Who actors, including Richard Franklin, who asked, oh, can we do it front to front?

Bless.

And we had some very informative subtitle here of Hecety, Hecety, Hecety, Hecety, Hecety, Hecety.

You don't have to press play 6 times.

Is anyone else longing for a sausage sandwich about now?

So this, the strange thing about this.

This is very kind of subhinchcliffe. you know, this is, this is, you know, what Hinchcliffe has been trying has been doing.

[03:12]

We even get the thing and I said weeks ago that we were not to have any more scenes where people are tied up and sacrificed. like a really listless swingers party in the Midlands.

That's Juno Baker's place later.

Who's this?

Um, see, that's...

Yeah, that's Colin Jevins's son.

You can play the Tom Baker part for this one, talk about the actors.

Who the hell was this?

I've been saying that all the way through.

It's very brown.

The music.

She'll never work again.

Oh, what is Lavinia?

It is Lavinia.

She's going to smoke in this children's program.

Yes.

Can I just say that she was on the telephone then?

I'm taking a list of, I'm counting how many times people pick up telephones and go in and out of doors.

And if you are watching this, please play a drinking game when that happens.

Well, I think we just started.

Acorn Antiques.

No, the camera's pointed at the actors.

So this is this is Susan Engels.

She's had a really hard day.

[04:13]

And there's... and there's Dot Cotton.

Or Joanna Lumley now.

So this is...

Dump them. ruined your figure.

It is kind of a little bit like stones of blood, only not good in any way.

It's camp without the jokes.

Yeah, which is what we're here for.

So this is a kid's program.

This is the 1st scene of a kid's program where there are any characters and it's 2 old ladies talking about post offices.

You know, it really is terribly boring.

Oh, let's talk about his business.

That's interesting And they're kind of just into-dumping all the other characters we're going to meet in the next hour.

And the way the other way they introduce the characters apart from the info dump is by having the most listless and horrific party where they all get introduced to each other for no reason.

Oh, this was written by Terence Dudley, who, um, wibbly wobbly timey.

Wyming.

This is his 1st piece of Doctor Who to go to air, but he had already finished the scripts for 4 to Doomsday and Black Orchid.

I'm surprised to say that Terrence Dudley seems to write Doctor Who badly.

[05:17]

Having never watched it.

Nothing he writes in Doctor Who is like anything that has ever been on Doctor Who before or since.

Can I just say in all of those stories, you have to be watching for people just walking down corridors, going in and out of doors, like, he's obsessed with it.

You know what?

You were absolutely right, Todd.

And seeing as you won't be with us for the rest of season 20, we will try to keep that count up before to Doomsday and Black Orchard.

Did he do the awakening?

No, no, he does do King's demons.

Oh, okay.

He does the King's Demons as well.

So does this want to be Children of the Stones, Richard?

I bloody wish.

Well, currently, currently we're driving up to the opening of Penelope Keith.

It's almost Murdersville too, isn't it, Brenton?

What the hell is she wearing?

Horrid outfit. door She's carpets of door.

The beret is really something if she thought of wearing that in hand.

[06:20]

It's called in Jevons, everyone.

Yeah, I once had a dream with Colin German.

Oh hello.

Really?

He was a butler.

Did he do it?

I was acting in a thing and said to him at one point, it's so nice to see you're still getting work, but he didn't break character and he just pretended to still be the butler and to say, yes, sir, that's very kind.

Would you like to go through to dinner?

He is spectacular in the original House of Cards.

Yes he is really good.

In fact, stop watching this and go and watch the original house of God.

How the mighty have fallen?

My mother had a lovely throw that was exactly like that that what Sarah's wearing, but then the cat got pregnant all over it and we had to chuck it.

Oh, I'd always wondered what had happened to it.

Now I know.

Sorry, so the cat got pregnant on?

Yeah, well, sadly, we can't ask for his, but I think the evidence is right there.

This is a fun game.

We will be suggesting a variety of programs you could watch instead of canine and cover.

[07:20]

This is a great drinking game.

I've already had 3.

Here we go.

Oh, yes, it's a terrible outfit.

And just a terrible set.

Do you know what I mean?

Like when it comes back, like when they actually do a problem, you know, for her.

Sorry, I will stop it now, but don't you?

Okay.

You know, when it comes back, it's brightly coloured.

It's got kids in it, there's action, there's a giant sort of green squid thing.

It's really, really terrifically enjoyable here.

It's a lot of people in front of brown walls going through doors and picking up phones.

It's really not very interesting.

When's Juno coming back to sleaze on to Sarah Jane?

That's my favourite bit about it.

Look at all those plates And we get a tease.

We get a tease here because the viewer knows that canine's in this story.

And so they think maybe he's in the box.

So are we going to open the box?

It's just full of fruit.

Are we going to open the box, Sarah?

Oh, fuck.

No, we're not going to open the box.

Phone.

What are we up to with phone?

[08:21]

Three, three.

I really do love that she's wearing one of the old Naimon guards, summer frogs.

Those completed shoulders.

Can I call that door?

don't know. it's a door. door. door.

This is Sean Chapman, who we were talking about earlier.

It's actually quite, um, he had quite a long career in the decade after this.

He's still with us.

He did lots of films.

Hellraiser.

I can't decide whether he's good looking or not.

He's kind of...

It is one of those heads.

Oh, another phone.

Oh, it's the same one, really.

Brendan, your namesake.

Already.

He was the adric all the time.

No, he's really Andre, isn't he?

There's a lot of fascinating conversations about 80s era computer technology.

Speaking of which, I'll just wait till you open up the U-Bus, but this is the thing.

This was being filmed, wasn't it?

When Earth Shock was being filmed.

So just as spoiler alert.

Yeah, this was being recorded as Zerts.

[09:21]

Oh, really?

They were being filmed.

Oh really?

Because that shop was filmed earlier enough, according to the old BBC show notes.

We'll check that.

No, I looked it up.

Both of these young actors initially, I think, are okay.

But they oh, there's a scene where they're just awful.

Brendan Honking.

Oh, they're kind of...

There's some fights that's just appalling. anyway, I'm jumping ahead.

Let's just revel in this for the moment.

Had it gone to series, I think they would have ended up together.

Okay, yeah.

Well, the, the, um, let's talk about the propose series for a bit.

So everyone's in prison, except for Juno Baker.

It was going to be Sarah and K9 as the main characters, and Brendan and Aunt Lavinia would have alternated.

Oh really?

How many episodes?

heard that too. 650 minute episodes.

And this was originally scripted as 90 minutes.

Oh, no.

I bored already.

Graham McDonald was right behind it, but then he was replaced by David Reid, who said there is not enough plot to support 90 minutes. cut it.

And so cut it down to 50.

[10:23]

Do you know what's even better than that?

Do you remember the teaser they originally filmed?

I don't think it's on the DVD of episode 2 when they were going to go into the series, and it was to discover covens, just like it, the length and breadth of Britain.

Can you imagine?

Well, the canine and company annual.

Every single story.

Every single story afterwards would be exactly the same as this one.

Oh, please.

I'm taking 3 additional O levels.

Car door.

I got in a car door.

So it would have been really boring.

And the fact that, look at that dog.

And it's growling. so far upstaging every single.

Oh, General Grugger.

Don't kick that dog.

You'll be very, you'll be very much disappointed.

I will say, though, that Terrence Dudley's original pitch implies that he may have once seen the series on the TV in a bar somewhere.

His original pitch is that much as we will discover shortly, interminably so.

[11:26]

Sarah is sent a canine.

It's canine actually sent by an enthral of the master.

Yes, that was the original pitch, wasn't it?

But yeah, for some reason they decided, oh, no, no, we've already got him in a trilogy of stories.

We're not going to feature, going to refer to the master here as well.

Let's just have canine hunting witches.

They've got they could have had Daleks, you know, they have all of these monsters in stock.

They could have had Sarah meets the Nimon.

Sarah meets a bandrels.

Zygon, but...

This would be lovely.

But let's not forget that this was very premiere in children's TV and public consciousness far more that was going on.

Not just the Wickerman.

That amazing TV thing we saw in the early 70s, Robin Redbreast, which was about exactly this story, really, but actually scary.

Children of the Stones, if you like.

Uh, Sky, which was, um, was that Robert Banks Stewart as well, that show about the alien child and the stone circles and the whole of nature, uh, comporting to defend against him and they, and they actually built the, the earth created a master avatar to defeat the alien child who just looked like David Bowie in a skin suit.

[12:42]

That's chocky.

Chocky again.

Well, Wyndham wrote that in what, early 60s, but that's an early 80s.

So all of this is very premier in...

Phone, phone.

Thank you, Todd, Chinchin.

So I think the premise.

Oh, just let's just take it.

The smooth is Vivian Fame.

She's dressed up for this phone call as well.

I think she thinks she's in.

Do you know what I mean?

She's wearing purple.

Oh, dear, come over for a drink later.

We're not too exhausted.

I think the problem with this one is it really dumbs it down.

I don't think it was necessarily Dudley's script.

I loved King's Demons.

My friend Tony Starr directed that.

We'll have to get him in.

He's not in Australia anymore.

Just clunk. was a name that just dropped it.

No, we call him Tony. how this could have sustained itself as a series.

Like, you know, everybody's just evil in the village.

Every single person we meet except these 2 who we're supposed to think are evil because they're so sleazy.

Well, because Vivian Faye.

Because he was just fiddling with Chris Hang about cottages, yes.

[13:44]

But everyone else is evil.

So everyone else is in prison.

So they must go to other villages for different covens.

But, I mean, they could have had aliens.

They could have had Hecati turn up at the end.

Spoiler alert.

She's made up.

You know, like she's not actually real.

And so it is, and oh, Sarah's just went through a door.

The only disappointing thing is that the show itself had made such strides visually and musically in the previous year.

And this just looks like, um, you know, Seeds of Doom or, um, Pyramids of Mars, you know.

And the music is terrible.

Peter Owls, you know, bunking off work early and just picking up one of Carrie Blyton's old scores.

I think.

Oh, here we go.

It's a big reveal.

It is a big reveal.

Is impressive looking, isn't it?

Oh, God.

Is it?

That looks like one of those things that you put in your car to reflect a sun.

Even even Sarah's laughing.

[14:46]

Even she's saying why am I doing this?

That's right.

This is what I'm the sidekick to now.

It used to be Tom Baker.

Now it's this prop.

Well, that's the thing.

When she signed the contract, it was called a girlfriend.

And David Reid said, no.

The whole reason we're doing this is people have had an outcry because we got rid of canine.

We calling it after K 9.

So that's the thing.

She was told she was going to be the star and then this happens.

Well, she doesn't actually do anything to resolve it either.

Does she?

I mean, K9 just comes in and shoots everyone in the end.

She drives.

You know, I know it's quite a good drive.

I don't think anyone's in focus in that shot in that 3 shot just now.

Stop.

Honking, Brendan.

Terrible.

Yeah, yeah.

People say that to me all the time. moment.

This is a lovely moment.

Well, he was doing some proper acting too.

Look at the chills when she says that, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's the best.

I never mentioned him to anyone in the history of anything.

It's the best moment of the whole episode and it just reminds me that...

[15:49]

Yeah, yeah.

She's not really old Sarah Marching.

Yeah.

That's the problem with this The fun's gone.

Have another drink.

Where's the dawn, Todd?

Yeah, see, no one's in focus in this shot.

It's really soft, the videotape, I think.

I think they're shooting her through linoleum, which is hard.

She wasn't that old.

Oh, but yeah, this is a lovely moment that just reminds you that something much, much better is going to be premiering in just over a week and a half .

Oh, what?

Season 20, season 19.

It's not much better.

Yeah, but it's got the doctorate.

Yeah that is true.

Wow.

They're getting a lesson on computer.

You are.

Oh, no.

Yeah, been made with nowhere near this.

Nuclear battery.

It is a nice idea that the doctors rebuilt this canine to be adaptable to current tech, I'm just having a bidmead moment here.

Built it with 80s 10.

Yeah.

Yeah.

[16:49]

Bubble, yes. bubble butt.

He's just about to ram into Breton's bubble right now.

Yeah, math is hard, Sarah.

Yes, that's right.

I think it's just that awful home perm that's completely...

How to focus.

Yeah, yeah.

No, I think it's the soft videotape, I'm sure.

People making this show must be very, very competent technically.

I don't remember though.

The broadcast version of this looking so grainy.

This could actually just be a problem with transfer on the cheap scale.

It didn't look, it did not look blurred on transmission.

Oh, we just had a flare on some of the studio lights.

Oh, yes.

She's teasing us.

Oh, no, we didn't see it. see it. go and put a postcard.

Here we go.

And the thing is, she just grabs her keys.

But she changes her coat into something else is hideous.

[17:50]

So the big fake out is, of course, that we think that Juno Baker is behind the heckety mask, but it's this terrifying woman, is it?

I don't remember this woman.

It's Patricia Rutledge.

Yeah, she's only in like 2 scenes.

It's like, so she was the villain all the time.

But you know at the end when they reveal her, I never, I always think it's, I don't know who it is. can't even work it out.

You know, you know who Bill Fraser is, because, you know, he's in a few scenes, but this woman's hardly in it.

Oh, that's an awful outfit.

Even for the early 80s.

There's some lovely, almost sharderesque moments here, aren't there?

I'm almost expecting Claire Keatley to pounce in in her gorgeous boots and chignon.

Yeah, it needs that.

It needs Douglas Adams, mind you, what doesn't?

Yeah, there's there's no glamour.

There's no glamour.

Because, and, you know, the thing is, if it's set in the, if it's set in the country, you can have people wear tweeds and weatherproof stuff and all that's fine.

Give Sarah some glamour.

Actually, I've got to tell you for the time that was.

[18:51]

Yeah, it was a difficult era.

Oh, hello.

Oh, dear.

Spying on a young lad in a field, out of a glass house.

I don't think anyone will argue with Rod's observation of constant homoeroticism in this story.

Oh, that's sort of...

Or a filipedo though, isn't it?

I think it's more Kenneth Williams and Hugh Paddockism, isn't it?

Colin Jevins.

Paddock.

Colin Jevons has obviously decided that Brendan's a doable barker, I think, probably.

Wouldn't surprise me if you'd audition for Andrew.

So to speak.

Yeah.

That's the guy playing Brendan.

You can tell she's evil because she has lotro figures on the shelves.

That is quite evil, isn't it?

And granny's ashes box is left open and pinned to the wall.

She also doesn't put a little finger out.

No, she doesn't.

She's quite common, isn't she, really?

Well, it is Patricia Rutledge in apotheosis, isn't she?

She is.

Hyacinth bucket.

That's Gillian Martel.

Glycerine career.

[19:52]

What did she go on to do, Brendan?

She played various grandmas, I think.

Big name in local equity, various assistive.

Yes.

How scintillating is this?

Two women sitting around having a cup of tea.

It could be scintillating, but it's just like your aunt wrote about witchcraft and people didn't like her, but I like to don't don't suspect me.

She go on to play one of the space rants in that Blake 7 episode.

Yes, she did, yes.

Yes, she did, yes.

She was also one...

Oh, door, thank you.

I think she was, I think that was actually played by Patrick McNee's Uncle Evelyn, Brendan.

That woman looks almost exactly like the woman who brought up Steed from the Avengers Patrick Knee and made him wear little skirts and later kilts and made her call her made him call her uncle.

That was Patrick McNee's mother's lover, yes, for...

That would have been one hell of a Doctor Who spinoff.

I think that's pretty much what I was seeing right here.

Look.

Oh, now this is just the worst party ever.

[20:54]

Actually, Brendan, this is a touch of Midas from the new Avengers, isn't it?

Yes.

And I think that's a brown velvet tuxedo he's wearing.

Look at that dude.

Oh, hello.

Oh, serious thing has removable sleeves.

Now she really is a Time Lord.

Have you have you sampled me finger drearies?

Come over here and I'll talk about it quitting.

It really is a BBC stuff.

Can you get her breast?

Yes, yes, she's really...

But Sarah Jane's got quite a few little moth holes in that one.

They're coquettish minx.

So the sole purpose of this party is to introduce all of these characters so that they can be evil at the end.

It is acorn empty.

So this is the hotel inspector who passes out when he sees the rats in that faulty towers episode.

Yes, yes, yes.

I always thought the canine had 6 heuristic interfaces.

[21:54]

Did you?

Well, I don't care.

This is what happened when Ian Levine only writes the theme, but isn't continuity advisor.

Ah, yes, that's why it all fell down.

Of course.

No, that's fine.

Anybody can do it now.

The door?

Yeah, okay.

Well, the rest of us are drunk by now for playing that drinking game.

Well, now we've got a lot of lovely shadow and, oh, yes, Brendan kneeling.

Both the young boys are standing.

A bit like Latin from Eurovision this year.

They're almost attractive, but you can't quite tell when they're not.

Brendan is almost entirely Nick and knows.

It's just an enormous 6 foot 2 neck.

No, it's not Sarah.

One of the main prerequords. working with...

Oh, hello.

Oh, lucky.

Oh, I know I didn't see you.

Poor old Colin Jevans.

[22:54]

I bet he thinks back on this shoot with a great deal of warmth and scent. still with us?

I don't know, actually.

I don't think he is I don't think he is.

He was Max Quordle playing in the TV show too.

He was in the winger then.

I've never heard of it.

The Winged Avenger. one of the really a really good Avengers episode.

One of the best.

K9's doing quite well on location here.

Yes.

Lots of duckboards, lots of duckboards.

Actually, no, he is quite attractive.

And duck face.

Oh, you see, they're gonna kiss, surely.

Look at that.

Look at that.

You can cut the tension with an knife.

A button knife.

Get way off me.

Now, now.

So he would have been a regular because he wasn't...

Irregular.

He looks pretty good.

Would he have been in it?

I don't know.

Moss Peaks.

Not planned to, but I suppose he could have been.

Are they looking terrified?

[23:55]

This is pathetic.

You should shoot it.

Shoot it, canine.

It was terrible when they did it with the Daleks in 1964 and it's terrible now.

No, when they did it with the mice.

That's okay.

We hear a crashing, but we don't actually see a break.

They probably couldn't afford out of the budget.

Yeah.

What's that?

Oh, that's pathetic.

Oh, hello.

He's hard enough.

Subtickans are working quite nicely.

You call it de Barusa, you know.

Colin Jevons is still with us, ladies and gentlemen.

Fantastic.

But he did retire from acting.

Shortly before this story.

In 1990, he retired from acting.

Oh, someone pick up the phone.

They picked up the phone.

That counts.

I can't believe he's wearing a board.

It's my agent. actually have a job.

Bad news.

We haven't been picked up for series.

What, do you think she chose the colour of that sofa so that...

[24:56]

Why's Kenny ever on the sofa?

The 2 people on the sofa are having a conversation, but they're both talking at the same time.

Much like this podcast?

Yeah, maybe they're doing a commentary track on this episode.

On the other guests.

I do that when I go to a party.

They're actually watching the mutants.

Oh, they're lucky. quite jealous.

That's probably the funniest line in the episode.

Garden Goblin, not in my memory.

I'm hoping not.

Oh, old school time.

Bidden through the restraints.

Well, no.

Hooray, Colin, because it's 1666 and we haven't and we're suddenly on the set of the visitations again.

They've never seen what, they've never seen Star Wars.

No, no, he hasn't.

He should be wearing a smock, shouldn't he?

Doctor Who did this?

I think we've agreed pretty well in Fendal and Stones of Blood.

Yeah, yeah.

And, you know, whatever else you want to...

[25:59]

Both Fendall and the Stones have blood.

For demons, maybe?

That did it pretty well.

So what's happening happened?

Sorry, guys, I'm not contributing much a conversation.

I'm just obsessed with doors and phones.

No, this is a new drinking guy.

It was dark about 20.

Oh, it looked a bit like a gypsy.

Now that's a racial slur, children at home, so we're not using that language, okay?

She is actually he's actually dressed as one of Padme's handmaidens from the Phantom Menace, isn't she?

Kira Knightley.

And Brendan's cosplaying is Matt Smith.

Did you know that?

That's actually Kieran Knightley.

It is not.

It is.

Yeah.

When she was young, she was a dead ringer for Natalie Plankman.

This is turning out to be much more fun when we're talking about other things.

I do love this little outfit Sarah's wearing.

That sounds fabulous.

But don't you feel she's the she was the louder all the time?

It's a little bit 5 doctors, isn't it?

It's a bit lower.

Oh, it is a bit lower.

We have men's clothes.

It's not string cars.

What a lot of our publicity shops are done in as well.

It was actually decided very, very late in the day not to take it to a series.

[27:01]

The following the following April.

This was broadcast in December and it got 8.4 million, which Todd, what's significant about that number?

Well, it outrated everything from Tom's last season.

Exactly.

Golly gosh.

Where did it place?

I think I placed about 50 something.

Yeah, so, you know, it was popular.

It did good, but there was a blackout somewhere and so it got less than they expected or that's the line.

Plus, it was meant to go out the week before Christmas and it actually went out the week after Christmas, which hurt it.

Yeah, you can tell in the dialogue, actually, they say it's like December the 18th.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

You know, it was meant to be like up to the minute, kind of like ghost watch.

But yeah.

But I gather the main reason it didn't go to series was the series was pitched as and we're going to go around hunting all these covens.

And David Reid said, what?

so boring.

Exactly.

You know.

Do you know that John Nathan Turner was really disappointed that it didn't go to series?

And part of that then led to him fast forwarding the getting a robot into the show. i.e. Chameleon.

[28:06]

Chameleon.

Yeah.

So bad.

And by this time he was already coming up with the drafts of Chameleon's pitch.

That's digital.

Are you around for that?

You are, right?

Yeah, awful.

And this is scintillating.

Yes.

I don't think there is a children's show that can't be improved by a long conversation about soil acidity.

Yeah.

Telly biogenesis.

If it became significant later in the plot.

Okay, but for goodness sake.

No, they just, he's just trying to kind of big dog him. you know what I mean?

I know more about soil acidity to the new do and signs, it doesn't solve everything.

But he's going to be in prison at the end of the episode anyway.

It not like it's going to be a long-running rivalry.

No.

Although, um, if we did, if we hadn't had this, we could have had 2 more episodes of Black Orchid because this came out of season 19's episode allocation.

That's right.

Mate, the tournament was given the money for 28.

Because of the success of season 18.

[29:07]

So it was seen as a critical success, if not a ratings as well.

I think that's fair.

I think Sarah looks gorgeous.

This is her, is this her best outfit in this?

The best outfit so far.

Oh, finally the police.

So was Samantha Bond going to play General Grugger in this story originally?

She was.

Oh, Samantha Bond is fabulous.

Oh, product placement.

Naughty BBC.

Mr. Queen, I believe.

No, no, other polishing sprays are also available.

There's one sitting at the table right now.

Polishing his helmet.

Did he play one of the slabs?

With the slabs?

From Smith and Joe. Yeah.

That would be inside.

Look at the neck acting going on there.

Oh, he's doing a bit of jaw acting as well, Richard to be fair.

Oh, I think some, oh, there's going to be a big makeup scene that we won't be able to watch later.

Bring on the revenge. ever bowl.

[30:09]

It will be.

Oh, that is that is utterly pathetic.

Oh I don't know.

No, no one can cry in the 80s.

No.

Because life was so good under Margaret Thatcher.

I just love the...

I love the TV.

I love the fact that we are cabling everybody.

Oh wow.

That could be right now in any hipster cafe in Newtown.

Someone with a time rider.

Have you seen them at Sydney Unich turning up with their typewriters and taking them out, yeah.

You can get booked mechanical typewriters for your iPad now.

That's just...

That's just... door.

If 1st you don't succeed.

Try again.

That's not how you ask someone out.

Well, I don't know.

It is the 1980s.

It is according to the type of people who complain about Ray being a main character in Star Wars.

She's been in that bloody library for 700 years, but of course, that doesn't seem to count for much.

I wanted it to be the I wanted it to be the Loch Ness monster one where she found a secret door.

[31:12]

Sorry.

Oh great shot.

Isn't that?

Oh, I'm just getting spirited away now.

The fire's gonna die down to...

There shall be no fire. in a montage.

That's inventive direction there.

She passed out drunk again on the rug.

Oh, tall.

Just like that.

But it's such a 1981 jumper.

I think there's something wrong with the lens on the camera.

No, fine.

How are we up to?

I will count it up at the end.

You know, the crinoids pulled the lines out.

That's why.

Someone say something.

Do you talk first?

I talk coach.

Oh, God, what another horrible coach.

Oh, it's a lovely colour.

Is it a short-sleeved duffle?

Oh, goodness me.

So Michael Bond.

Does this count?

Car door?

Yeah, yeah, I think we counted a previous car door.

[32:14]

Is this the mini metro she refers to?

Yeah, I thought so.

In what?

In school reunion, when she says, I can't remember a K9, it's like getting parts for a mini metro.

Does she have the car in school reunion that she eventually has for Sarah Jane Adventure?

That was a miss and Figaro in.

Oh, that's right.

Yeah, that's a Nissan Figaro and Sarah Jane Adventure. wonderful, isn't it?

Gosh, that's such a good show.

It really, really...

Yeah, just yeah.

And I think it needs to be watched back to back with this just to give Sarah a due.

Yeah, yeah.

Or indeed, Liz.

No, honestly, when this finishes and not before, dear listener.

You know, eject the DVD and more invasion of the Bane. because it's really good.

Oh my god.

Invasion of the pain.

Yeah. 1982 production season connections.

We have a character called Brendan Richards.

And Kinder will feature an actor called Richard Todd.

Where am I in all this?

I'm just producing.

That's actually one of the columns on the randomiser spreadsheet we use to pick stories is Richard slash Todd.

[33:19]

That's when I 1st realised that.

Yeah, that's a terrifying fiction right there.

These policemen are very patronising.

Well, she's a woman, Todd.

Probably.

Oh everyone knows everyone's business, don't they?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's the country.

You know, it's a shame that...

They ran off together.

There's a Sarah moment.

Look here. getting investigative.

What is it?

None of you were acting.

I thought he was Andred for a second.

And flower.

Dorf.

Door.

It is.

How to injure a child?

Did you see the poster without trying?

Useful advice?

Without leaving a mark.

Well, in those days, they had large telephone directories in police stations. you could, you know, roll them up.

Oh, I tell a lie. in 2 scenes.

No, here's Lily.

Oh, yeah, she's been friendly.

[34:20]

The bag is full of like, you know, dismembered goat parks.

You can't see that from here.

Yeah, goat foetus parts.

I believe that was the name of the... this year in Eurovision.

Dismembered goat parts.

Oh, door, door.

Is this over yet?

Something's and they just wandered into somebody else's house.

But then wasn't Sarah there a moment ago with K9?

Is this the same place?

This is George Tracy's house.

Everyone's house looks the same.

No, he is here.

We saw this.

Yes.

Oh, door.

Sorry.

Noted it down.

Sorry, it's all just brown doors and gray walls and fireplaces.

How many minutes of this have we gone?

27.

Oh, Lord.

So we're not even halfway through.

You know, it's very telling that as a special feature on the Sarah Jane Adventures, one of them includes the complete pyramid pyramid of, sorry, pyramids of Mars, whereas none of them include canine and company.

[35:22]

Oh, surprise, surprise. 5 doctors.

I love how they include that episode of Sarah Jane Adventures, that Katie Manning is in as a special feature on the Green Death.

That's wonderful.

This is, it's such a great show.

It's better than Torchwood.

It's almost better than Doctor Who.

It's about survival.

You know what?

Oh, no, I thought you were talking about...

Sacrifice.

It's 1890.

Well, can we start now?

No, I said there are to be no more human sacrifice scenes.

We're having a moratorium on them.

Oh, Colin is just acting.

Great to know, the Caliak was coming back.

He's very, very good with very, very terrible material.

He looks like there's a conspiracy about the special stuff, doesn't it?

You know, like Hillary Bray, is Hillary Briane?

Hillary Brice.

Hillary, Hillary, Hillary.

Oh, dear.

[36:23]

We are getting night shoots here.

It's lavish.

It's a lavish production, Todd.

Yeah, it's kind of weird because because it was 90 minutes, they were given 2 weeks of location filming that got cut in half when the episode got cut in half, but yeah, they still do a hell of a lot of night shooting.

Oh, cool. directions not quite as polished as you might expect.

No.

Who's directing this?

This is John Black.

He does do Doctor Who at some point, doesn't he?

He has a good drum.

And Fort Doomstone.

And popular with the crew and calf?

Okay.

No, he was.

He was one of those very blokey, quiet, just get it done, chaps, but got on with everyone.

What's for a doomsday's direction like?

Is it all right?

The direction's rather nice.

I quite like that.

I think it falls apart and I think there's terrible racism problems.

Yeah, yeah.

But the 1st couple episodes, I'm actually quite intrigued by what's going on.

It used to be my favourite Davidson before I became a was in fandom, and then when I got into fandom, found out everyone else was hating on it.

[37:26]

That's right. why is it?

I think it's better than a lot of other things.

That's my personal opinion. despite the fact that it's rough around the ridges.

Oh, my God.

Somebody just had a seizure.

What actually happens here?

Because we've already established there is no magic or alien influence in this story. take his blood pressure medication for a couple of weeks and there you go.

I don't have a heart attack.

I've got written here.

It looked it was quite young. thought it was a bit magical.

Yeah, I think something was...

We couldn't see offscreen. meant to be magical, but he's not dead yet, but I think he dies in hospital.

Was he dead?

don't know.

It's a metaphor, isn't it?

It's quite dead.

Oh, that's what a goat attacked him.

Obviously. was attacked by a goat.

Sarah's thinking, 0 god, not another guy.

There is a rather insane video game where you can play a goat and attack people.

It's called goat simulator.

Other farm animal simulators are also available.

Not yet Oh, okay.

Pretty much someone made a trailer as a joke, and people said, when is it coming out?

So he ran a Kickstarter and got 7 times the amount of money he wanted.

[38:29]

So he made goat simulator. must download that.

I'll send you a video.

It's insane.

You can go into orbit as a goat.

And it's still better than K9 company.

Is anything going to happen?

Is anything going to happen?

So we've had, so literally, the only action so far is 2 kidnap attempts on Brendan.

And a policeman having a seizure and that's really it.

And now we know, and now we know this bloke who we've seen in 2 scenes is evil.

I love how I art.

Everyone.

The eyebrow arch.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Squinty face.

Squinty McSquinty face.

Squinty face.

It's like Christopher Eccleston before he had a career, isn't he, on just a motion where he leather jacket. done.

Finally.

So finally a sacrifice scene.

[39:29]

That's what I've been waiting for.

What is that red thing?

Oh, he was...

He wasn't, he was even rejected from Horns of Nimon as a cast member.

No, he's not a virgin, so he has to wear red.

That's it.

Meanwhile, a grunk canaria.

Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise is the next one.

So this is the lady from the post office.

Spoiler alert.

Be honest with you, listener, if you're daring to watch this again and listen to us, you don't actually care about the plot.

Yeah, we're not explaining it.

There isn't really one.

I think he's quite good to look at.

No, he's weird looking.

I like him.

I think he's pretty He's a two-face.

Oh, I know.

Well, it's not easy to get, you know, pull and frock like that off.

Oh, side pony.

I was used to.

Oh, maiden side pony.

I don't know why you don't do that anymore, Brendan.

I'm rocking that wig for this recording.

Thing is, I did have a ponytail when I was a dude.

I had hair, I had long hair.

I had long hair halfway down my back.

[40:30]

Leather elbows on a tweed coat. the best you can do?

She should offer to give her a massage.

Shouldn't she?

She's doing that with her eyes right now.

Look at that red velvet number.

Being a woman.

Okay, yeah, fair enough.

You guys behind.

Oh, I'm sure.

This is the scene to establish them as the villains.

Yes.

But really, they do have an ulterior motive, but it's not the one that we, uh, the one that we thought.

You know, they come across as people that would have a spare bedroom and there's a mirror in the spare bedroom and then they go into their little closet. mirror on the ceiling.

No, no, no, no.

At the side, the people used to go and sleep in there and then they walk in and it's a one-way mirror so they can peer into your bedroom.

[41:34]

A Diana draws party.

Yes, we've covered that in podcasts previously, haven't we?

Yes.

That was underworld, wasn't it?

I can watch that.

Mirror in your spare bedroom?

Large Chesterfield, right there.

Is canine going to?

We haven't had canine for a while.

Green boots.

Yeah. as if the or if it wasn't...

Green and blue boots.

Now, kids, if you've never heard of a thing called a map.

That's it.

It's like a mobile phone, only vastly, vastly less useful.

And you have to have many of them.

In hard copy.

Is there nothing that Sarah doesn't know?

Cartography, boots, horticulture, side ponies.

[42:34]

See, what she needs is she needs a phone with Google Maps or whatever so it can work out all the alternative routes to all the churches, doesn't she?

Oh, wait.

Clone.

Phone.

It's quite a difficult computational problem working out the shortest route between a lot of different places.

I'm glad K9 has been used well then.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, I think that it would be great if Brendan and K9 had a long conversation about it.

Travelling salesman problem.

I've got to go on about it for about 10 minutes now.

Why doesn't K9 have Google Maps?

Google doesn't make it to the year 5000.

That's it.

And also because the doctor...

Could she be more blatant?

But no, you're right, Richard.

He doesn't want year 5000 technology in the 20th century.

I should be delighted to say, Sarah, how canine would work otherwise, is it?

So I mean, she's explicitly coded as kind of sexual, which is why we think she's evil.

Because women who are libidinous, like therefore.

[43:35]

Yeah, yeah.

Territorial and taking up space.

What, men folk are meant to be inhabited.

Okay, we're about to get action.

What are you going to do?

No, no, no.

Look.

Oh, no, it's Planet of the...

Spiders.

Sergeant.

Wow.

That is some really good stunt.

That was a lot more exciting than Richard Franklin managed.

Which is not the 1st time that expression has been used.

And you know what?

It's been 7 years, but now she finally knows they were trying to kill her, not Richard Franklin.

It really does say how to injure your child without really trying.

Why are the police advising people about that?

They should be discouraging that.

There was no such thing as society. was just cruelty with fun.

Gee, it got dark quick.

There was also no such thing as homosexuals.

That's right.

We didn't exist under that.

We just weren't allowed to talk about it.

Although evidence to the contrary.

Oh, everyone's got a cellar like that in these parts, haven't they?

[44:35]

Yeah, that's your spare bedroom.

Isn't that great how she's counting down and we don't actually see her.

We don't see a shot of her watch.

No, just going into the different driving.

How come this canine has no back history for any form of local variant knowledge, whereas the other canines.

This one is significantly more smug. but less informed.

He doesn't even know a garden known.

Do you think he knows what tennis is?

Ah, good, quick, good question.

I like that, Nathan.

Yeah, yeah.

I've got lots of them.

Oh, wow.

It's like he's out of that Bonnie Tyler film.

What's it called?

Totally clips the heart.

That's what it's like.

Russell Monchias.

Do check out literal music video, total of clips of the heart.

Sorry, chats go up.

And also too, this whole countdown is, is an act, 1158, like, is it actually in real time?

Like 24, it's much slower.

[45:39]

I expect Paul Martha or Mr. Freeze to turn up.

Yeah, yeah.

I was making a fire.

The excellons, actually.

Excellent.

That they try and drug them with sort of, you know, incense.

It's been a bit of a train wreck so far.

So wouldn't it be wonderful if it was like the end of Casino Royale?

And we just had the Excelons turn up and the Ogri and everyone just run in and everyone's double 07 James Bond.

Just make it like casino row.

That would be great.

If it was like the end of the world.

Yeah.

All just aliens and aliens and aliens.

We must be near the end.

We're near the end.

We're at the 45 minute mark.

Goes on for another 5 or so.

So it's resolved in the cleverest possible way that you could never have seen coming.

You just watch.

It's a it's a plot twist worthy of a master.

[46:39]

You look sceptical, Brandon.

Oh, I'm just losing the will.

There's nothing in that cup.

No, and you hear it hit the bottom.

It's just like, oh, and now.

Here it comes. prepare yourselves.

Yeah, he just comes in and shoots everyone and they lower themselves to the ground.

Okay, they haven't stabbed him, so I'm going to try and stab him.

Oh no, who's going to try next?

Where are these screams coming from?

Literally.

It's Colin Jevans. just Colin.

He prerecorded them because he knew he'd be busy falling over in this.

Oh, Sarah, go for it.

Oh, she does a high kick.

That was terrible.

I believe all those screens were being done by Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders.

Are you doing the accent?

And now, the reveal that is clear to the holders.

Someone that we don't recognise all along.

I thought it was that woman that's that Sue's talking woman.

I didn't even recognise it as the stupid postmistress.

Postmistress, isn't it?

[47:39]

Gregson.

And?

Commander Pollock?

Say something.

General Grugger.

Oh no, it's Bill.

I feel like such a fool.

How can I have not known?

I watched television before.

It turns out they wanted to burn down the old amusement park to collect the insurance money.

And they would have put it away with it.

If it wasn't for these...

Oh, other covens all over the country there.

They're precursory, keep the rest of the series.

Other covens are equally available. from which to choose.

Oh, dear.

And freeze frame.

Oh, damn.

It's the archers without the jokes.

Oh, come on.

Oh, no, phone ringing. asking you over. so that we could have sex.

[48:44]

So much as an orch.

Oh and a very Merry Christmas to all of you at home.

I gnawed you with 3 people, says Sarah, well, no, Brendan's here now.

Now, Lavinia would have been the great hero of a TV, a kids' television program.

She could have solved crimes with a fag hanging out of her mouth.

Why is this still on?

Why is this show still going?

Really?

I didn't think they could top that joke.

The closing joke.

Oh wait, there's one coming up.

Really?

She's like a poor man's Amelia Rumford, isn't she?

He's in prison guarding the soap very carefully.

Here we go.

Is this the joke?

Oh, please.

[49:46]

Why is he drunk after Christmas lunch?

Who's giving the dog wine?

Thing is, he's not at the party with them.

So they have dressed him up in the crown and the tinsel and then said, we're buggering off to a party.

They've left them at home.

So that was a really sad scene where he was singing a Christmas carol to himself because he's left alone on Christmas Day.

Thanks, Sarah Jane.

It's over.

How?

It hasn't finished.

No, I think it's such a shame we didn't get 6 episodes.

So important question to ask is Todd, how's your tally going?

The phone tally, you would have drunk at 9 times.

Dora, and I think I missed one or two?

36.

I think it just goes to show that unequivocally and empirically.

Canine and company is dangerous for your health.

Just wait till you watch Four to Doomsday and those sliding doors and you start doing a tally.

That's all I can say.

[50:47]

Well, hopefully I'll remember in 2 weeks to keep a telly of that.

Sorry, Richard.

I'm just going to say it's a pretty gripping title sequence.

Well, it's nice to go back to the Hartnell days with static shots.

Oh, no, but script out of this.

Stay with an Antony root.

Alone, they're terrible together, they're worse than ever.

That was iridescently.

Strontium 90ly.

What did you think of the direction?

Still sitting there after all this time glowing with a deathly palate.

Pictures were on screen.

I thought the director did a okay job considering the script.

Actually, it's true.

The OB stuff was great.

The outdoor shots are lovely.

I just want stones of blood.

Can we go back and watch that?

They just the wrong script.

Terrible.

Should have been great.

It's the script, isn't it?

Yeah And the performances.

What are you going to do with that?

And the music.

We've all seen them all do much better.

That's true.

Apart from that.

Oh yeah, and we forgot to mention that in that scene where they were romping around doing Hekate, Hekate, Hekate, we're back on the menu so we can see it again.

[51:52]

John Nathan Turner was directing that.

John Nathan Turner was doing the 2nd unit stuff and everything was running really late.

Apparently the dog wasn't working.

So the actors started running around because they weren't getting paid over time, chanting equity, equity.

And that's the funniest thing about this story. think that says it all.

And that man's just realised the rest of his career flashed before his eyes.

We will be back next week, too, with Castra Valver.

And also, hopefully releasing this weekend.

We have our commentary track for The Man with the Golden Gum.

Until next time, please check us out online at flightthroughentirety.com, flight through entirety on Facebook and iTunes, Bondfinger.com, Bondfinger on Facebook and iTunes and Bondfinger Cast on Twitter, and of course, Doctor Who in 10 seconds on YouTube.

Gentlemen, Greed.

Gentlemen, any parting comments?

No.

Hekate.

Can we just get out of here?

I need to watch it again.

I understood nothing of that.

Thank you very much for listening and good night.

[52:53]

Good night.

See you soon.

That's the crash of it.

Thanks, Judo.

Hekate.

Stop working.

No, we actually are watching.

It's just not working.

No, no, it's not working.

Okay.

Or awesome.

Please get off this menu.

Why are they flashing a photo of Beryl Reed?

This is like a Victoria Wood sketch of burning up all the old actors in equity.

I haven't worked for years burner.

Equity, Equity.

Hekate.

Oh, it's still not working.

[53:54]

What's going on?

usually up here.

One last try.