The Velvet Commentary

Hello, dear listener, and welcome back to the commentary series of Flight Through Entirety, the only Doctor Who commentary podcast who blurts out their plans in the slightest moment of stress and then gets shot by their accomplice. I'm Brett. I actually know, I'm Susan. I'm Barbara. I'm Ian. I'm a backcombed cardigan in danger of rapey incidences any moment. And that means it's our 1st commentary. I want to be Barbara too. It's our 1st commentary. Listener's choice in the heart in the era. Yeah, who frickin' chose this one? The majority of the 60 listeners who voted. We know each of you by name. We don't actually. Twitter doesn't give us any information, so don't worry, Richard isn't going to hunt you down. If you would like Rich to hunt you down, um, you can find him on Twitter at, at, uh, Richard, I think I've said 2 things on the entire history of the planet, you know. Can I be the Zentai suit guy, you know, the gimp suit guy that has a lovely holiday by the seaside and almost melts? Could be that guy. You thrills Toya Wilcom? Yeah. There's a lot of precedence in this one, isn't there, Todd? We're all together. It's like, honestly, the Blunovich limitation effect on your podcasty download device must be going off. Yes, but Richard, don't touch Todd could be dangerous. Oh thanks. Now, no one's mentioned my t-shirt. Richard is wearing a fantastic t-shirt that says you can't sit with us. Which wasn't intentional. Sorry, James. Regina George, 2004. Now, we do have our keys of Marinace DVD edition in the Blu-ray player. Yeah, Todd, you may not realise this, but the start of every commentary. We took over Brendan. Exactly. So we can't get started. And we are ready on the play all. Safe word for this evening. Our safe word for this evening is conscience. So the next time the next time I say that word, you are to press play, dear listener, so please get ready on your auto remote control. We're about to start the keys of marriage. You're actually going to like this one, aren't we? Well, I do like it, but we'll see how we feel in 2.5 hours time. We'll see how you... hour's time, dear listener. Oh my goodness. Okay, here we go. Are you ready, dear listener? conscience. And we're off. Doctor Who theme. So I would like to apologise for this because actually each of us was asked to nominate a Doctor Who story that we wanted to offer to the listeners as a potential sort of poll candidate. And I was the only person stupid enough to nominate a 6 part story where nothing very interesting happens. And I remember you did ask my permission. And I said, of course, it can be a six-parter. No one's going to vote for Mariners anyway. Yeah, I just remembered. Well, I think our listeners were doing it to punish us. They've been listening to our episodes and they wanted some way of getting back. The sea of death. That's actually a really beautiful model is graphic. I love this model shot. It's actually really lovely design. Oh, well, it's a model. It's a really lovely model. It is a model. Yep, the zoom is coming. It's only... Zoom into a painting. No, no, it's a monitor. Oh, you're right, it is too. You can you can just make the out the water. I can see the sea monkeys. Hooray. Oh, any radiation? It's Planet of the Giants. They're all really tiny. I, I, you don't have colour television. Oh, that was a bit crabby, wasn't it? Well, you know, they could have been taking a bit of a shot at ITV. Billy's done a lovely bit of backcombing there too, hasn't he? There's some really slicked down, isn't he? I love that bit where Ian says, is there any radiation? The doctor says nothing to speak of. And no one says, yeah, well, last time you said that. You lied. I just love that Jackie's cardigan, all the bombs cardigan looks like it's actually going to fit Barbarilla's space helmet because as Brendan would say, she's fabulous. She is fabulous. And I want that jumper. Yeah, she looks. She really is, isn't she? Oh, this is so exciting. pod races. Yes. Actually, we've just watched 4 bits of matchdick trace across the but really for 63 with no budget. I think this is beautiful. I love it. On the making of this, um, Raymond Cucick discusses the problem with having, if you like, a budget for a single set of sets, but having to come up with 5 different sets of sets. Because Terry Nation had seen what they did, yes, with the mutants 10,000 BC Deadplanet.com and decided, oh, they can do anything because typically, as Terry does, what he did what Einstein did with the theory of relativity and worked it out on the backs of envelopes. However, more people know about Einstone than they do about Terry Nation. And I think that's important to remember. He certainly was someone who didn't really have much of an idea about what was practical or affordable. I think he knew anything about telebiogenesis. That being said, he did often cater to the designer by setting things in a blank featureless room or a blank featureless corridor. He did write that an awful, but that's 10 years before or 8 years before THX 1138 or Kubrick doing that whole beautiful... How can they not see it? Malory Archer. Actually, that's really raunchy. That's a word that young people can look up. By the way, the hills are really beautiful, very me now, and can I just say a little bit German expression? They really are. Isn't that lovely? I'm very happy that German expressionism is making its way back to the podcast. Well, in snake dance, some of us assume it ever left. I was gonna say something completely different. What were you going to say, Todd? Is this world? They've got this sand in this, we're about to find out this sea of asset, right? Oh, spoilers. Well, I'm stealing Nathan's lines here. And then, later on, we're going to be in all these, like, jungle of death and all this sort of stuff, right? Yeah, it's all on the same planet. That's no way to speak of Fiona Walker. I mean, it's not like we've got seas of acid. Yes we do. Yes, we do. It's called global warming. But we've got, but you know, you got, I love that this is actually the most realised world in Doctor Who, possibly of all time. And don't we wish she had paddled in it. Sorry, go on. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. It's lovely. What a planet. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, when you look at all the variation we have, that's set, by the way, boys and girls, it's beautiful. Yeah, I agree. That cubist modernist, it's actually, um... It's what Ken Allen would have done if he'd been at the ABC, isn't it? It's Ducharpe and Brack. fibreglass rocks. To sharpen Brock rather than rather than Picasso. And Brock was in fact, as was Duchamp, a heavy influence on both the Russian constructivist and then the German expressionists. And I think everyone, every time we say that, everyone at home should have a little drinky boost. We certainly are. Told was going to say something quite... Oh my goodness, isn't she gorgeous? We're not looking at Ian. It's acid. Like we could have had our 1st cast change right here now. So some kind of paddle in the orchard. What are we saying? What? Bye, Susan. I think we all know how much I celebrate the entity that is Susan in her entirety. I love Susan on every level. I think and I think she's fine in everything she does. I know I might be sitting by myself here at the end of the sofa but Carol's not the problem. I can't say wrong with what she's doing. No, no. Carol is fine. She's just given very, she's given material that is beneath her ability. Well, she's also not directed but teenagers are annoying. Nathan, would you care to come with? I've got nothing to say. Hello, hello, students. If you look at early Star Trek Next Gen, people sort of said, oh you know, we could have left for yours, by the way. You could have rent her yours and I'm chuckling. Billy Fluff. Billy Fluff. Oh, that's gorgeous. also a little bit kinky. Yes. Let's lock a person in this and see what happens. Especially with the fin. I never say no to a Finn. What am I doing? Hello. Hello, darling. Hello, darling. Nathan is gesturing hypnotically, like Mandrake, the magician. Well, we're walking around a lot of pointy things, and I'm actually getting a bit excited about Billy's trousers and also the fact that they don't ever bother dressing for alien landscapes. What has Billy done with his hair? It's fabulous. Well, Ian is still culturally appropriating cafe. He's looking good though. I do actually like his sort of he's gorgeous. Why she brought her wellies out? Because she lost her shoes in the paddling pool. give her yours. Oh, well, look. Why has nobody noticed? Oh, that's right. We now know it's actually a little bit djourous. We don't actually notice them when they walk past us from a foot away, you know. But that's the lovely theatrical... That's what theatre does. Every fricking Shakespeare thing. This is much more theatre than it is television. Which is one of the reasons why, you know what? I'm just, I do this now. I've spent the last month trying to get through Resurrection of the Daleks and look at this. I could watch this every single day. Stinky winky. Oh, by the way, Brenda, this is where you get to throw in the thing about Toya, because some of our gentle listeners might not have heard our erudite podcast on the Keys of Mariness. Toya. Toya Wilcox. Do we know the story or does Nathan want to tell the story? Toya Wilcox finds the cyberman sexy. Yeah, yeah, because... I tell it? Toya Wilcox, created, was the creator behind the Teletubbies? And her inspiration, for the look of them, was her very, very earliest memory of this story. Oh, right. And the gay one. Can I say gay? The gay one, the purple one who carried a handbag, whom she intended to be, the, you know, mixed gender, queer character, was based on a board. This Ford. This very board. So I just think a great guy to party with. very disturbing. It really is, and that is a beautiful piece of architecture. Look, I've heard so demurring for the kids at home and, you know we're doing stuff like that right now. I believe that was accomplished by an inlay shot, which is an early version of colour separation overlay. There's no colour, of course, so you don't use colour separation overlay. Oh, kind of masking effect. Sorry, to speak over you. Isn't that a good, this is what we do. Isn't that a gorgeous reinterpretation of the Dalek corridors, but in cubism. That is beautiful. Now, we're coming up on one of my favourite early educational moments of the series. Now, we had an educational moment early from Barbara, and because it's Barbara, she pulled it off brilliantly, she just said, this is a tidal pool. So the whole scene must be acid. Instead of saying, this is a title pool, and title pools come from the scene. There's a knife. Now, the thing is, I think Carol there, Carol is being very cautious. I think she's playing it like she's already a bit psychic because she expected to be psychic. That's the thing. She was going to leave next year. You can tell. She knew it was all going to go nowhere. So the acid C is a defence thing. It's not that the whole planet has acid scene. just want to keep the viewers at bay. Oh, it's just around this island. just a conscience. It's like a scene smoking area. You have to remember I wasn't here. No, that's true. when you did this. So I actually, you were refusing to listen to it back then. Oh, it's more common wise. That's what happens if you refuse to listen to the podcast. Okay, I have to say this, I've never been a fan of this story, but watching this now, the lighting, the subtlety of the direction. Please go and watch Dr. Kaligari, the cabinet of Dr. Kaligari, dear listener. Here we come, educational moments, excitement. Educational moments. No mortar. It must have been built with tremendous accuracy. I'm not sure about that. Egyptians did it. Okay, here. other people as well. And Lego works the same way. Oh, God. Excuse me, I think this is fascinating. Oh, yeah, but we... And the city of the Excelons is built this way. William Russell's delivery bear is appalling. Who has the prettiest hair? Let's play this drinking game in each scene. Do this, man. Who has the prettiest hair? I think it's up between Billy and Babs and I think Billy might be winning. Barbara's winning. It's not Susan, and Vidalsa soon designed Susan's hair. We all know. Sorry, we all know that Susan's haircut cost as much as the budget of the 1st episode. Oh, the fish she goes. This is actually Batman. Three years earlier. Susan. And that wagging. The ragging paint effect on the walls is beautiful. Grandfather. Revolving door. At least... at least for once you're meant to see a hand. Sorry, Richard. It's stopping them from walking into the painted little back. So this is all one take, one shot to F. only ever been viewed the once. And sadly, you know, they missed, they missed the camera cut there by 5 frames. Boom shadow. You aren't even going to see this once on a screen, the size of what, an iPad? Pretty if you're lucky, yeah. If you're lucky. Considering they had to get extraordinary. They had to get 23 minutes of material in the can in 75 minutes. Oh, good. Are you sure? Oh, sorry. And also, most of you listeners are too young to be watching this. This is really... give it 4 or 5 years of hormonal induction. You kids are going to get really excited watching this. You know what? I'm just talking to my fellow podcasters. I 1st came to this story when I was 12. Yes. A friend of mine had a big Doctor Who collection. Oh, that is really by the social scary, depending on where you are. Oh, no, that's an iconic shot though. Oh. Oh. And suddenly we're Mel Brooks. Oh Oh, and oh. Now, it's very important. Unfortunately, it's Archer, isn't it? It's very important, Arbitan, that you don't say anything here that might alert her to the fact that you're not going to kill her. But then again, he doesn't know that yet. He also doesn't know what she's up to. She might be part of the hoard incursion. So, Brendan, you came to this story when you were 12. Yeah, yeah, a very good friend of mine, had contacts in the UK and so gave me like an 8th generation copy of this. Oh, that's how we all discovered these things. I didn't see it in decent quality until I got the DVD. So my memory of this story is that Barbara is currently sitting in a white void. is no detail. entirely. That's right. That's beautiful. Scream along with Barbara. I just love that Ian's wearing his piggy gym gems. Also, that's hot. And kinky. This is the British disgust, invented kink long before the Germans well, the British are just a German racing. Pretty screens. I'll be talking about the sets for the rest of the time. I told what we're talking about. There are any number of sets actually here this in this story aren't they? I mean, we We're all busting to say something. We'll save the budget out. But I didn't mean it's never been done before, like to have this sort of action adventure. Yeah, this week out. Like, you know, like a movie, really. Actually, that's true. What BBC show had experimented at this level, at this level of expectation of production. Well, you know, I mean, there is this thing and it's kind of a bit of a commonplace where we, you know, the show gets packaged up and we buy it on DVD and it's a certain number of episodes. But, you know, this series isn't that. There's no on-screen keys. Yeah, we don't know when it's going to end. Our idea that it's a six-part story is like something that we impose on it later. A bit of wrestling. Oh, look at the lighting. How do they get lighting? This subtle and this beautiful in one go. These boys really know, and I'm say boys because there weren't many women, but that, oh, also, okay, I'm going to get really doll but there, um, Tom Bass was um, a world-renowned sculptor who worked in Sydney and my mother used to float with him and um, that is so doable. And he's too... But that wall. is exactly like Tom Bass's sculptures. There's some really beautiful set. This is Cusick, isn't it? This is Q. I think he's one of the greatest people to work on TV. And I think he's better than Ridley Scott. And my friends have just been working on alien covenant. Did I tell you, I've stomped around the sets of the navigator thing which is 40 feet high. It's not as good as Roman Cucick. It actually does look like the detailing of a sort of office from the 1960s that my father might. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is really true. If you're that keen and truly tragic and want to go to York Street behind the QVB in Sydney, Newton's Pharmacy, look it up online. There is a beautiful piece of sculpture that's still left. 2 walls are exactly, and I would swear to whatever god you worship, that based on this wall here, you can go and touch and feel and pretentious fallback. throw yourself backwards. There are 2 bars right nearby. Throw yourself backwards. Yes, there are 2 sculptural clay walls that are exactly like that. Oh, sliding doors. And there are sort of rotating panels just next to them and you can fall in hilariously and go, ah, and this... We should just call this the minutiae podcast. It's a dodecahedron. It was the Dodecahedron all the time. Are the board are the board native to this planet? Like are there 2 different species? No, they're the alien Vord Tods. Pay attention. Well, Yartik was leader. He was leader of the alien board. Surely they're alien. But alien can also mean as we use alien from another country. So you don't think it means from a different planet other than Marinace? I think you think it's Brexit. The thing is... The way Arbiton describes them. It sounds like they are interior rebels, if you like. They've rebelled against the conscience because the conscience only influences mariners. So if the vaud weren't on mariners, why would they be affected by the conscience? But then later on, in spoiler alert, poor old George Caluras here is going to cop it pretty sort of seriously. And then Yardec alien, leader of the alien board. He's going to put his frock on. But Yanitech doesn't take his hat off, does he? So, that's true. So, Sarcotic? There's some great yachtic bum action, right? He looks quite poorly. He's not long for this world, I don't think. You know, I love that George Caluras is dressed like a Greek Orthodox drag queen in a B. Arthur bathrobe and Ben Herr necklace. It's kind of working for me. Have we mentioned that Calurus was part of Awesome Wells Mercury Theatre? and was a compatriot with both Patrick Magoon, Agnes Smallhead. And yes, Andora from Bewitched. And, um... So we like 3 degrees of separation away from Agnes Moorhead just watching this. worship that one. I do too. When I was 6 years old, I made the neighbourhood boys play bewitched and I always got to be Endora much like this podcast. Do you know? I actually did. They don't talk to me to this day. were you? What a beautiful relationship we could forge on that very basis right now. I'll just hover on the on the curtain rail and tell you what. I might have been married. 2nd Darren. Yeah, I'd be the 1st Darren. think. I like both Darren. There's a podcast. What do I feel about this set? Sorry, I want to go back to this too. Yeah, sure. This set is beautiful. The Dodecahedron being the 5th platonic solid is a gorgeous creation and I think looks beautiful in black and white. And sadly, because the budget was so stretched, there are so few set photos. They couldn't, they could hardly afford. Where was that man person? What's his name? John Curris? John Kura? John Kira. Well, he got tele snaps, but he didn't get sick photos. Yeah. We do actually have the video. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not quite sure where Brendan's coming from. Is he still in the room? I'm not sure where Brendan's coming from. Oh, no, no. I'm just saying you know, we were talking about how beautiful this set was. You know, imagine if we had a picture of the set with no one on there. I know it sounds like we're trying to make you listen to this podcast, but honestly... I actually feel it. Yeah, but you could turn off at any time. I just love the way I just love the way that, you know, we're not going to help you. We're going for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, but he's an evil fascist. I know that, man. Which one? Todd, just because he lives over the bridge. Remember, as I said on... What's happening? This is the sound of me rubbing Todd. Remember, as I said on Doctor in 10 seconds and therefore it must be true, this is a story about the thought police versus rubber fetishists. Oh, hello. Could I have some of that wine? Oh, I love the miming. I love this. Oh, thank you for cleaning us up. Invisible barrier. I think I think it's terrible. Oh, this is terrible. Here goes Carol Anne stepping through the barrier. Yes, it's Marcel. It's such a pity. It's not a barrier like in, what's that story? The ponds instead. She could have blowed up. There she is stepping right inside the barrier. At this point, is Billy not your favourite doctor? Just look at him. Well, at this point... Yes, we can do this. Yes, yes, always. I'll stop it, you two. But he's yes, see? Really? I'm sorry, you'll force me... It's really theatrical. That's the thing. And it's all my, and it is a little bit panto, but, but, there's nothing like it on television. No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. Look at him. He's extraordinary. Yeah, eye acting. I acting... Thumb acting. Thumb acting. Thumb acting. But, you know, Professor Quatermass. Good hair, Barbara. Professor Quatermass doesn't have this range of light and dark. Hasn't got ranged. Hasn't got the range. Also, even Ian's got back combing. Oh, well, yes, you're going to have to go now. Oh, that's beautiful. Now, there's there's a great thing. And I think you can still get it online.. I'm impressed. Actually, Barbara is Billy, Billy is Barbara. That is brilliant. Well, remember, way back in, way back in the Daleks, when it's Ian saying to, it's Ian saying we have to give them their own incentive to fight, it's the Dr. and Barbara saying, no, we can just use them to get the fluid link, bugger them. Bugger what the files want. We don't care. We just... those styles. Not the 1st person to sit and voice such a sentiment. Herm erotic. Now, there's a there's a rather wonderful download you can get somewhere online. We won't link to it because that would involve listening back to this. But it's called the it's called the Wonderful Book 1964. Oh, we love that. You may remember that Clayton Hickman did the brilliant books of Doctor Who. This is the people behind... Yeah, the bachelor. We talked about them before, I think. Yeah, That was going to pass fly. But this is... Help me, listeners. don't know. what's going on. Really cute, fake annual. There goes Barbara. Oh, she's gone. It's a fake animal. It's a fake annual based around the 1st year of Doctor Who and it has that map of marinace. They've they've screen captained... They've redesigned it and it's a holiday brochure. come to visit Meredith. fantastic. Done by mainly the person who does the wonderful velvet jacket DVD covers website. There they go. split screen. Oh, for the sake of all my people call. He means Greece. very modern actually. No, no, it's quite a political take. He means for the sake of controlling all of my people with a giant dodeckahedron computer. I'm so sorry old man. No, I want him to die. Todd, what do you think about the character of Arberton? Because there's some really interesting... There's... There's some really interesting ethical, let alone moral questions on whether Arbiton actually has the right to be doing what he's doing right now personally. I'm sorry, I think that's the moral quantity. Solve dry blood may have been sorry. That sums up, I'll think of it. For the 1st, oh, that wall. Isn't that Serverland's office? No, no, it is. It's not that yet. It's an Edrick's bedroom. Those are equilateral triangles. Uncle Hendrix's bedroom, by the way. But for the 1st time in my life at this age, and understanding what's happening in the world and what's happened with Brexit what's happening with most voters voting against the major parties and actually on the side of the board. Me too. Yeah, me too. Why is state control of people's sensibilities an okay thing? And at which point are we going to get chips implanted now? Because we're Terry Nation and we're kind of crypto fascist. We're old and crypto fascists. Yeah, and writing for more common wise. He was a comedy writer, as you know. Well, you do Hancock and stuff? He did. you phrasing? I don't think we're still doing phrasing. Who did MacGyver? that a comedy? Oh my goodness, he did too. I can just see mullets. It's kind of like... Mullets... Actually, Peter Davidson's character was entirely based on MacGyver. The doctor, including the hairstyle. And 3 years early, which was a massive achievement. Well, Doctor Who theme. I'm sorry, but now. Sphincter. I have to say, there you go. It's spreading. Really, it is. We've all, we've all, all my friends are in sitrus at the moment for bare week and there's 15,000 large, hairy, homosexual men gathered in one place. It's still okay. I still don't haven't. Where are they? explicit. in situres, which is in Spain. We're the men, Nina and the painter. I was just going to say, Richard. Look, I'm going back to Mariners, which I, as I knew it as a kid the keys are Marinas. I'm really good at reading. D's Doctor Who. very cameras. It's keys of marina certis. Well, the thing is, Todd, it kind of explains why Pertwi is your favourite doctor because he's always mispronouncing things. Yeah, he gets... I thought that was your favourite doctor? Get real? Who's your favourite doctor then? I think we can't have to find out next year. right, okay. We're going to have a terrific series of podcasts. Two listeners. It'll be Nathan versus me. Todd and I, oh, isn't that beautiful? It's the sale of the centuries. Todd and I have been discussing Collins, Ouvre, an era, and it turns out we're rather similar in our opinions. This will be very interesting to listen to later on. Yep, and you're going to find out. Todd will be quoting me. I'll be quoting Todd. Well, well, well. This is gorgeous. Oh, well, the Romans again, goody. Where's Derek Francis? Look at Barbara. Oh, Barbara's hair's looking even better actually in his the world. How? Only a year early. I'm sorry, I'm going to point out the 1st plot discrepancy in this story. Barbara arrived about a minute before them. Hello? She's a new frock. Time differential. Time differential. Oh. You're making them up. It's just an illusion caused by whatever's causing everything to look... Okay, yeah fine. We don't know. isn't she in rags? I mean, is that not that's diagenic? I'm not just... Who's to say they don't have a special machine that she just steps into and then he goes zapping. Yeah, like on. Well, that's how the macro terror. That was the bottom... Oh, bit of comedy here. There's there's Carl and Ford pretending to be enjoyable. Oh, there's one of those reaping angels at the back. It's going to come to life. That's nowhere to speak of Billy. See, unfortunately, what we're missing in between this story and the edge of destruction is Marco Polo, where they spend 3 or 4 months travelling together, which is why they're so warm here after being so fractious. So do you think that they would ever, ever, in a 1000000 years they wouldn't consider animating that as well? Well, we've just had. As we record, we've just had the announcement this week, dear listener, of the Power of the Daleks animation, so nothing is impossible, but I would say we would get Dalek, Cybermen, Ice Warrior. Well, actually, the Ice Warriors have been animated yeti stories before we get historical. I think we'll even get the wonderful massacre or celestial toy maker to wonderful classics. I don't think we would get I don't think it would get the massacre before we would get... Chickens asked. As everybody, has everyone noticed that? All the girls, all the handmaidens look like Carol from Monty Python. They probably are all Carol from Monty Python. Barbara was really born for this role. I love the fact that they're eating all these all these truffles and all this food. I can't remember. Do we actually get to see like it's rotting scraps they're eating? They're eating truffles? No, it tastes like rat poo, just like Billy's. Well, I reckon that. No, my partner is obsessed with truffles. I love them. I actually use truffle oil to anoint myself. I'm lining up for exercise classes for 3 hours. As well. But the truffles thing. The last time he was back in Sydney. He bought a truffle the size of a grapefruit for... Oh, you know, half a $1000000 or something for a Lego set. It smells like feet. What's Brendan? Todd, Todd, if you would like to repeat that. Todd, please, over to you. I just said, speaking of fruit and looking for... Also, Ian's redone his hit. Yeah, there's there's Actually, that's the biggest cornucopia of just stuff another grapefruit in it that we've ever seen. Yeah, there's that on the show and here's my roll of wallpaper. There's 2 shots in this episode where the film is damaged and they've had to digitally replace things. Ian's head was one example. That looked terrible. And what about Altos's pants? They were... So they weren't able to recreate them digitally. No. That's with the neck thing. Oh my goodness. Also gay. Gay. Now this, of course, is Robin Phillips, who was in an episode of The Avengers. as Billy Harnold. That's that's Marlon Dietrich. Oh, this one on the left. Yes, that's right. Why is she wearing a chandelier, what? Well, he's he's just wearing speedos underneath. And the 1st season Star Trek. Next Gem. Little known fact. He was he was campaigning to be prime minister of Australia at this point. Who, this person? Yes. Who was he, really? No, no, no. Robin Phillips. He was an actor. His other genre thing people may recognise is a sense of history from season 4 of the Avengers, which also featured Jackie Jacqueline Pierce in a very early role with a few lines of dialogue. I love it when you guys talk Avengers. So does Stephen Berzanovsky. Avengers is still my favourite thing of all time. When are we doing an Avengers podcast? Well, remember, of course, we are contractually obliged in each podcast to mention the Avengers, Stephen Busanovsky and Philip Sandefer. So we've just got one more to go. We did, we did semi-quote Santa for earlier. Good, good. I'm going crazy on... Auntie Nathan. anyways, yeah. Oh, it's so beautiful. Can everything, if I was emperor of the universe. If I was magic chan, the 1st thing I'd say is everything needs to be made in black and white again. Yeah. Well, do you remember our crazy plan after the adventures of an adventure in Spain and time? Time in Spain? was it called? Space and time. Time I thing. Our thing. Instead of shooting the next season of... Dear listener, I still want this to happen. Chris Chibner, are you listening? stunning. Yeah. She's beautiful. So what we do, instead of creating a new season of Doctor Who with Matt Smith. We get David Bradley back as the doctor. And then with Barbara Ian and Susan, the recreated set, all shooting in black and white and do a series of stories. Yeah, a series of remakes, you know, do Marvel. No, no, no, no. New things. Oh, new things. in the style. In the style of. So I'm happy with of, you know, whatever. I think it would have been fun to bring in new monsters and some old ones as well. Play around with 2nd return to the Web Planet or 1st return, but I wanted 490 minute stories with the Adventures in Spain and Time cast using modern... but shooting. I think it would have rated brilliantly. I also would have given Audi. I would have watched. Yeah, and I would have given Moffat a chance to actually think about what he was doing. Although I've got to say, just having watched a little bit of Capaldi's 1st season, I love... Oh. Oh, Todd, this is actually you and I as if we were acting. Actually, I've seen Todd on stage. It is Todd. This woman? Yeah, darling. I really don't like her. Why? Really? Isn't she, isn't she, isn't she the daughter? isn't she? Yeah, Sabina. Sabina? Yeah, Sabitha. This is where the whole thing gets Scantiwegian's Ingmar Bergman. This is certain seal acting. that's true Oh, this is fantastic. We missed design. He's putting a truffle on their heads. We missed our dogs on the world earlier. A word on the truffles. Do we think they're eating fungal truffles or chocolate truffles? Yeah, no fungal truffles. Really? Chocolate truffles aren't real. No, they're not real chocolate thing. Actually, they're copper lights on their heads. We have those in Australia. We do. I dated one. God. No, I really like what happens here. Sorry, Sam. Jackie and Barbara and how they, all this sort of... Oh, my freaking hair. Ow. Yeah, no, I thought it was really good at the time. That really hurt. But it is, it's like technically actually really terribly good. The thing where they, you know, you're cutting between different points of view, even though we can generally afford one set. Yeah, yeah. And we're getting, you know, like scary, horrific. ancient Rome. Would any of this worked if Jacqulyn Hill wasn't in it? No, nothing would have. That's why I think the show went to went to hell after the chase. I don't know what's going on here, listeners. I haven't done enough of these. everybody's just slightly insane are actually rubbing Todd for lock. Well, I am. And let me recommend it. Now, this bit we've got coming up from... This bit we got coming up from Barbara's point of view was, of course, pre-filmed. Oh, is that how they do it? Yeah. And they sort of, they sort of cut it down. Why? Barbara's point of view sees the room as it really is. Whereas this point of view sees the rumours nice and fancy. Dear listener, you love this crap. Toby Haydoke. Don't. Thank you. That's what I missed. The world big. She was the Britney Spears all the time. And you know what? I would, in that Carrier tits. In that David Bradley scenario, I would love to see Billy versus the Weeping Angels. Totes. Actually, there's a fun thought while we're watching Barbara undulate on the sofa bed of reasonable comfort. Who would you combine? Traditional monsters with any doctors. Who would you, or any monster with any doctor? Who do you want to see? I would like to see, you know, the David Bradley, Barbara Ian and Susan in, say, Resurrection of the Daleks. Wouldn't that be fun? No, like everyone, everyone was being like brutally killed with guns. I think that would be re entertaining. Dear listener, Nathan's being very naughty. Poisonous gas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, where like people's eye sockets were being... I should mention to Brendan and the dear listener that I'm stuck trying to do the podcast. That old woman in the background. That's Ian I haven't been able to get to the Resurrection of the Daleks and I've been trying to watch it for a month. can't watch it. Go on. I was just going to say, it's Eric Seywood is that old woman in the back. Tush. Yes, I agree. Billy and the Weeping Angels would be amazing, Pat, and something entirely different from what Pat has ever noticed. Well, you know, something in a rubber costume. Well, no, in that, in that, the Siberians from Warriors of the D No, something different for sure. No, I, yeah, Pat and the Happiness Patrol. I was going to suggest Pat versus the Midnight entity. Yes, thank you. Because it would have made him act even more. Yes, I agree. I like old doctors and new monsters. Let's have a look. Okay, so Pat and the Midnight entity is genius. Pert we? Oh, you know, some old crap. Whatever. Well, we try to reboot here, so the absorbel off. The scribble monster from Fear Hurt. I think it'll be pertly in the cubes with unit. Oh, yeah. Oh, that would be genius. Can you imagine trying to do? Oh that would be fantastic. Because we have to live with Amy and Rory. Tom and a woman with a... If I may interrupt for a moment. That is just... We're coming up on another digitally replaced shot. Look at Altos as he moves forward here. That's weird. Yeah, there's just a massively damaged section of film there. However, he's kind of pretty. No, in a good way, just creepy way. Yeah, yeah. By the way, this champagne refuge. I should just mention to the listener. No, no, he's pretty in a sort of, uh, you know, your parents, uh Joseph. Yeah, but, uh, I should pick you up from school today. Yeah. Like Joseph Mengele's crib. So, you know, childcare centre. Everyone's got blue eyes. that kind of creepy. Oh, that's good too. We're just watching... It's actually the lighting I'm getting excited about. Please go and watch some German expressionism. is totally ripped off. We had a recording break. I hug a column 2 at this point. I'm so with you, babs. We had a recording break here, so Barbara could get into her real world dress. behind the column. Also, she's looking just a little bit hammer horror. Oh my god, thigh action. And he's lost a bit of his choker there, you'll notice, because we're now in the real world. Babs has just realised that she's actually dressed as she's being paid. So was that the ludicrous Altos frock was caused by... Exactly, exactly. Now, the thing is here, the only problem with putting Barbara in a sort of raggy frock is it Shacky Hill? She still looks amazing. The 1st time I saw these, sorry, because it's all about me. 1st time I saw these, it's 1983. Oh, they woggle. Just like something you shouldn't be playing with at your age. I 1st saw these in the 20th anniversary special and they were orange and pink and really, really kind of good, actually. How did they come back in the 20th anniversary special? 20th anniversary, 5 doctors, radio times, printed special. Oh, okay. That came out as a magazine was the very 1st time any child under the age of 20 had seen these things in a colour shot. They're actually really great in colour. Such a pity they weren't brought back for the 20th season of Doctor Who. Oh, who's to say they weren't? So evacuated the script. So you're behind the Lazar disease. Oh, brains. That would be. Oh, look, it's Eric sober in his 1st screen. It would have been better. This is so... Do you know what this reminds? This sort of reminds me of this, she's like a prototype, Polly like, in the same shot. It's weird, interesting having a... It's better. Betton Joan in whatever happened to baby Jane. Oh, oh, I want to see that remade. To be punished. I really want to see that remote. I wanna see it done with drag queens. You know what is being remade? Does everyone realise that Sarandon is playing is hang on, who's the other one? They are actually doing a miniseries for Netflix with Susan Sarandon. And come on, boys. Limit Tomlin? But haven't you seen? As Betty and Joan. Psycho, bitches, where it's Mark Gatis and Francis Barber. Yes, I have three. Really? Really good. Oh, please. That is the gayest duck face we've had so far, and this is before rain of terror. This is fantastic. I love this. It's such a subversion, isn't it, Ty? Oh, terry nation. Look at the technology. And William Harlow is... William Harlow? Yes, yes, yes. Is this the point where, or was it later where William Hartner was the highest paid actor in the BBC? Well, look at that. Yes, no wonder. If I put this inside a jab jar, it would be bigger, Leila, than you are, and gloves. It should have been to try hers. They should have kept this field going. It would have saved them stacks of money over the next sort of 25 years, wouldn't it? Possessed. Stoned. She's stroking her key. Possessed, really. Stoned. Actually, I think there's getting a little bit of girly action for the young ladylessness at times. This is getting a little bit. What offscreen? Excitement. A bit sappy. Hello, Barbara. Well, I'm going to say, it's a little bit, well, wouldn't you? It was a thing I desired moves. I, you know, God, is there anyone here who wouldn't, you know, do Barbara's hair right now? It's mine. The thing is, I really want... I really like her there saying it's mine. Do you know Marva to mean anything to you because I am. He was your father. I'm sorry, he's dead. Arbiter is just arbiter, isn't it? It's like the person who decides what you should do and what you shouldn't do. It's Terry Nation, for God's sake. Yeah, Terry, the inventor of the planet desperous. The desperate people to live on. But then you ask Mariners, where there's a sea. Arctic, what does that, what's the? No, that doesn't really mean anything, but he was the man who invented the planet Oridius. Which then became a desert. Yeah, that was weird. I wouldn't have called it a radius if it was like a sea planet full of octopuses and... you know what? With fins. I don't care. I'm actually loving this. I'm not this her hair. right now. Look, it's great. It doesn't mean we can't take the Mick. But these I love her. I love her. I just had a great nightmare. Yeah. I do have to say with these brains, you know, of course, now as an adult, I think of Futurama. Way over the world before, because we are giant brains. But as a kid, these terrified me and their voice is terrified me. Oh, yeah, bump into the table. Well done, camera. We're so lucky. I love that they're going to do. That's a beautiful shot through the Belgium. They have to join the working party, increase the manpower, but what are they actually doing? Yeah, we don't know. mining stuff. It's science fiction. They're always mining crap, God's sake. Hold on. Since the morphans don't actually have hands. Who made who blew the bell jars, so to speak, and made all of this? No, well, they have they have lips. They have other lips. They do. You can't see from pine, but they have lips, so they blow their own bell jars. Yeah, we'll learn something new. You see it on video on the internet. D young listeners, you have so much to look forward to when the hormones kick in. I just have to say, I love the fact that that's almost an answer. No, Ted Cannon. Also, Babs. Also, Babs. I think he's gonna turn for badge. I have to say, it's kind of cute. It's good to see a bloke who doesn't skip leg day. Hey, it happens so much. That grass, grapple, grasps. It's very Adam West. Barbara Grass. Barbara grunting. Barbara grunting was the was the subtitle then. Overpowering. Presumably great drag name, isn't it, Barbara Grunt? Not a bad knockout there. No, no, no. Took a whole chance. That's terrible. Her hairspray do would repel ionising radiation, let alone a pot. Oh, Sabitha is so out of it. She needs to learn when to stop. Just one or 2 bowls all day. Speaking of which was our champagne. She is, I'll get a bottle during the next, during the next credits. Oh, I just want to be you. Sabitha really is that person who collapses at the party halfway through. She's had too much too soon. That's it. You know, like you have to hold her hair out of the face while she's vomiting in a pot plant, for God's sake. He and Barbara actually sort of, do we think they're going to end up together? Yes, come on. Have you seen the chase? Have you seen the Sarah Jane Adventures? I had no choice, but I have to say, though, they should have learned their lesson after the edge of destruction. Don't get William Russell to do possessed acting. Don't really get him to do acting. You know, he's lovely, but, you know, what does he do? He thrusts people into rooms very well. She is so good. She's doing it. and look what he's not doing. is selling this so well. And really, Ian is just mimicking them orphans. Well, he's actually anticipating Peter Davidson's resting cliffhanger face. Oh. I would hate... It's just general face. just say how shocked I've been by Peter. I didn't realise Paul Davidson had already started. The human body is the most flexible instrument in the world Richard. You filthy beast. I thought children listen to this. No, they don't. You've seen the truth. I love that there's an air vent for the morphetons at the top of the belt. Yeah, everyone read Sylvia Platt because pretty much I'm just reliving it. No, it's like a bug catcher. Did you ever have a bug? I remember that cruel. Well, look, it's coward. Go for it. Now, this this gave me nightmares as a kid. Yeah, just I just love that you're destroying the model city for the next story. Hooray. Yeah, you go, barber, kill them. But not actually smash any glass because that's a BBC sword. might need it. She does she does break all the linkages. Yes, but she doesn't break the glass because, you know, we might need to reshoot. But you would have broken the glass if you could afford it. I just think this is beautiful. It's one little bit of washing up bottle and a black curtain and it looks gorgeous because Babs is doing so much. Ian. Stop phoning it in. Oh. There we go. And the cardigans back. It's really all I wanted. I don't blame them either. No, where's Billy? where's he been Back combing, apparently. It really is true to say that we would be here today if it hadn't been for if it hadn't been for Jacqueline Hill. I actually think Jacqueline Hill is the star of this with Billy. And all I ever asked for, Toddy, All I ever ask for is stories where Ian and Susan just bugger off on holiday for 6 episodes. Get off onto the sensor, right, space. Do whatever you want. I really don't care. Get trapped in an airlock, but I just want... I just want Billy and bads for the entire 1st season, Todd. Oh, you actually want them for the remake season too? Just them. I was very, I was actually quite disappointed in the recasting of Barbara for an adventure in Spain and time because she didn't capture the subtlety addiction. She wasn't as good, but I mean, who would be? Exactly. Plus, yeah. Madeline Khan. She only had about 10 lines, don't forget. Yeah, she's not even that much. It was about Billy and Verity. Barbara had no lines for many scenes and yet she's doing everything. That's true. They should. I'm going to go on holiday. Yeah, Billy's off. send you into perilous situations, which you may not survive from, but somehow or another, you will get to the end of this story and we'll have these 2 other pseudo companions who could be like Ben and Polly. Except for trousers. Two very pretty people. And I also love the fact that he's like, no, no, rather than take you somewhere safe with me, Susan, I'm going to send you into unknown dangers. I'm not going to get rid of you in this story, but I will eventually get rid of you. I was just going to say, do you get the impression that he's actually been trying to dump the broad for a long time? Yes, but you couldn't regenerate yes, yes. Is she her grand his granddaughter? Yes. Well, why have you ever wanted to lose a granddaughter as much as Billy wants to lose her? She's not the lady bloody Lan Eric Saywood. 20th anniversary special. you. What's the lady Lane? Oh, in 20th anniversary special? Eric, say when he wrote this story where the doctor saves the lady Lan and leaves Gallifrey and the lady Lan says, I'm going to call myself Susan and be your granddaughter and we will travel together and he doesn't just react by going, okay, bit creepy. Oh, but it was very important to Eric, say with them. The doctor had never had sex. That's right. Like all of our songs. there's something in that for all of us. It was actually kind of important to fandom. What was about the 80s that the doctor should have had no family and no background? What was that? Because I think that would make him too human. Oh, which it would explain why I can't get through the Dovers anymore. Stop it. Stop it. Oh, Caroline. Bless you. Time for it, Arcavin Pinji. Just stop it. Stop it. How else are you meant to do psychotic acting? I think she's doing it very well. I like the Apple Watch. And this is still what she does. In convention, graph cues. Yeah. The streaming jungle. I think I need to grab another bottle too. Young Brendan, I absolutely adore Carol Anne with Paul McGann in the audio, the big finish audio. She is wonderful in that. you know what? I won't hear a word against her. She great. Does she does she actually sound quite good? She even is given sandwiches. She sounds kind of great. great. She sounds great. That's a convention, naughty rumour. And Paul's son, Alex plays her son, the doctor's grandson. Great grandson. They're some of my favourite big finish audios of all time. Brandon is here with playing Diana Rig with an empty with a full champagne bottle. I'm just about to shoot the cork off. I'll try not to shoot your head and I'll just shoot the cock. Let's see how we go. Did the director of this story direct anything else, John? No, he died very soon afterwards by fans bitching. I believe. I actually believed you that he died... John Don, bitching killed him. John thought it was... Okay, John John Gory, I thought, and I will check this when I'm not opening up. He definitely he definitely directs the episode of Reign of Terror that Heinrich Hirsch was sick for. isn't crap. No, it's crap. That whole thing's crap. No, it's... Dear listener, please write in. Go away, go away. First they go to a pub and then prison. It's all been well and truly rehearsed. Really cool Apple watches. And also... Oh, they just run into a new scene. How could they have killed George Canoras? He's expensive. so soon? It's... Well, the thing is, he was, he was the headline star. Cheers, Tim, isn't it? He was... Cork out of the bottle. Yeah. Pass me your glass, darling. Yeah, would you like my glass as well? George Caluras was the headline style. So they could only afford him for one episode basically. Well, they get 2 for the price of one. He was the Agnes Moorehead all the time. Thank you, darling. Keep going, keep going, keep going. Yeah, why not? Cheers. Cheers, Lucy, listen. Let me finish that. What does the listener think about this? I'd like them to respond to our very exciting book of face page where we put hilarious jokes up each each week. Also, legs. His legs have got longer. Yeah. Also, that is the gayest frock in Doctor Who of all time. And Sabeta's as well. Do you know, Brendan? I think he not only skips legs week, he skips, you know, chest and shoulders. Look, he's not eating any carbs. He has definition in his legs. I mean, he's he's a naturally skinny boy. He has muscle in his legs. Probably from putting his ankles behind his ears for most. Yes, I know, listeners. I'm sure he's very good at yoga. Just means you did a lot of gymnastics. Very good at yoga. to be dirty-minded, Todd. This is terrible. help me, Brendan. I'm trapped between these. I know. like Mortangella in a sanger. So John Gory directed the Keys of Marinace and he directed one episode of The Reign of Terror. But that's been junked, and has now been inexpertly animated, I think, by some Australian... direct the missing episode of Planet of the Giants. Yes, the one that was cut out. Oh, boys, gentlemen. before you start telling us fascinating facts. Can I just ask, whatever happened to all the undiscovered African stories? Well, because I thought Power of the Daleks was something in Philip Blarface's compendium of useless trivia that we will never get to see because he wants too much money. We're allowed to talk about Philip Morris. Yeah, yeah. But I felt cigarette. Yeah, he owns every cigarette in the world. That's an in joke. I thought Bill Morris was in the original Mission Impossible. Yeah, he was as well. I thought he said he had power of the Daleks, Marco Polo and a crapload of other things, Brendan. Well, I mean, I've never seen any confirmation of that. That was certainly the rumour. I certainly heard Marco Polo rumour. confirmed it quietly to our friends, so I should probably not be saying this on the podcast. Maybe not. So what? But look, you know, I think where there's smoke, there's fire. Certainly, Philip and also, I'm afraid his his wife's name escapes me at the moment, but she is involved. I love the fact that I, for now, that vine with the rock. Sorry. Thank you, Tom, for coming back to the reason we're doing this podcast. For now, I do apologise for forgetting her name, but I'm going to refer to her as Mrs. Morris. So if you like Shirley, I think. Probably. in that voice. She keeps, she sort of keeps the home fires burning and does, does Eileen weigh all the time gone. does sort of the administrative side in the UK gets things shipped back. Now, what I have heard has been the holdup is, and this is just a rumour. Well, no, I've heard that he has found stuff, but because of the initial leak. Which is the BBC's bloody... Of course, the various TV stations now know what they have is worth money. So I gather that has led to problems. And of course, the fact that Web of Web of Fear 3, he did discover and it was then sold from under him by someone at the TV station. Oh, is that why we have, that's why we don't have Web of Fear 3 because someone sold it. And he's still, he, Philip Morris is still trying to track it down but basically he said, you know, it was physically handed off and paid for with cash. Wow. Couldn't we sell something? We can sell Eric Seywood for scientific experiments. This statue with the hands, right? They go like that. I remember as a kid watching, it was either a black and white Tarzan or it was an Abbott and Luke Costello, where there was... It is Abbott and Costello. I remember... or somewhere. They were all fans of this story. And they had a similar thing in Africa or somewhere and they had the tribal thing and the hands were like this. I just remember. It's a little known thing that Carol Anne Ford was actually a hand model. just like in that episode of Seinfeld. There's that Caroline Ford. Also, really nice ab definition there, statue. God, we're desperate, aren't we? The micro key. Oh, they're ecstatic. I think I've got it, you certainly have got it, honey. So you really act with a wall, can't you? And now, also... Oh, that's not kind. Actually, yeah, I'd be up for that. Can I just say to the people at home who voted for this story, that if you'd voted for the Romans, this commentary podcast would nearly be over by now. Get off the train, say go to work. Can I ask a question? Have we actually nominated for Patier? Yeah, what is it? I'm going for the war games? Yep. I'm really not impressed by that at all. By the time this release, we will have a result. I'm going for the macrotera. I'm going for his appearance in the $5. I don't really nominate something. Yes, you did. But at the end of this, at the end of this, I'll announce what it is. What do I nominate? I'll have to remind you. I'm sure I think I know what it is. Yeah. You were drunk. Todd doesn't drink, so that's pretty interesting. Does somebody actually have a, we've actually got a result to it? Well, by this time we will have a result. We don't have a result as of recording, but we will have a result as by the time this comes out. Because that will be the far. So you've just spoiled the... I've spoiled the magic that I'm going to record... I've heard something for which there are no telly snaps and no recording. So we're actually going to sit here and commentate nothing and audio. Well, in order for that to happen, Richard. One of us will have to suggest a missing story. Oh, we haven't done that, have we? Well, it's for me, it's Power of the Daleks, but that will be back. We'll have to do a commentary on that. you know what? We'll just do it anyway because annoying our listeners is our reason to live. You know what? Okay, be back. Yeah. Ish. Actually, have you, dear listener, have you watched the little animated things? The little moments? It's really cool. Fantastic. actually looks better. Clearly this episode is incredibly boring. No, it's just people touching other people in bathrobes. What's not to like? Also, arms. looking very concerned. This is my parents' house in the 1970s. There's just lots of palm bronze and I want Barbara back. I think they've just all been to a Keith tossing party Oh, by the way. So does that mean shirtless George Lazenby is about to appear originally? I'll be your guardian, Susan. Well, you're screwed. Or not, really, honestly. honestly, you're fine. Where's Barbara? She's been taken by the statue. Yeah, really? Is she having a break? Does she have a tan when she comes back? There was no recording break there. They just ran off set during William Russell's shot. I don't mind that at all. No, no, it's fine. Another one of these moments. What's the safe word? What did she just say? They can't think of anything to say. jaunting bracelets. It's really excitement. It reminds me of the dead planet. The fluid link. No, it's just a box of flashing lights. Yeah, they don't have the money for that. The question is, though, this week's why are they doing this in the plot is, it's a fake key that they put on the idol and then the idol takes you prisoner and tries and tries to kill you. Why? Why not just let someone get away with the fake key and let them think they've got it? Why then kill them? This podcast would make no sense. Did I pretended he set up all these traps for people? Yeah, or maybe it was some Darius who will make sure. Maybe it was Darius, who will meet shortly, who's played by Edmund Warwick, who will later be the indistinguishable from the original... Why did they bring him back for the final? Why does everyone of Rosie was dead, I believe. He was horribly dead. Why does everybody? Oh, nice hands. Why does everybody rub up against, Oh, grab his arse. You know you want to. Yeah, that was very chaste, wasn't it? Very chaste. Oh, and then, which we didn't get to. Oh, also. Oh, that was... If we were going to do a 6 parter, why didn't I? It was very angry. Why didn't you nominate the chase me? Because this is yours. I would have preferred the Those are very Anglican rather than Catholic group, wasn't it? Yes indeed. Oh, hello. Are we going to get Peter Davis's exciting 1st memory of Doctor Who? Yeah, that's when we find out about episode 15. We'd still be here, do listen. Oh, no. Also, that statue's washing its hair. Also, ow, this is gonna really hurt. As Nathan would say. No, seriously, this is panto. Behind you. She's not stirred, though. Never mind. Yeah, never mind about me saving your life. Never mind about you being an idiot. I shouldn't. I've just read the scripts for Reign of Terror. Why are you so mild, Length? At which point are we stunned? should this episode booby trap? Yeah, we should. Are you frozen? She just said it. Yes. At which point do we realise that Babs and Ian decided to just, you know, go home? Oh, no, come on, from the 1st moment they met, they're the perfect couple. Right, because they're sexless. Spencer Tracy and Catherine Hepburn. Sexless and disinterested, yeah. Although to be... In that Catherine Hepburn was obsessed with Spencer Tracy, Spencer Tracy was indifferent. Catherine Hepburn actually liked very tall, thin, dark-haired women and Spencer Tracy was also queer. And that evidence is well out there. So yes, they are the perfect Pete Burner Trosey car. Yeah, I just have to say, though, as gorgeous as I think William Russell is here, Spencer Tracy's hotter. Spencer Tracy liked, gentlemen not unlike yourself, actually Brandon. Awesome. Also, eel. No, he's hot. Oh, he was a reeking alcoholic. I'm just talking physically. Hello, I'm right here. You're both right. Thank you, Todd. I think that's the sound bite for the episode. That could be a title. But, you know, I'm just watching Jackie. Meanwhile, I really... Meanwhile, really, the budget's kicked in. indistinguishable from the area weasel. Beat me to it. I'll beat you later. whatever. creaking open. Do you think it's overcall her bat? Is it Altos from the future? What's happening here? His name's Darius or Darius or Darius Twin? Come on in. Stop fondling. with such reverence. Hello, anyone there? door. door. We don't have that many doors. Oh, man. Screaming. I actually don't think there is a Doctor Who story that couldn't be improved by a net falling on something at some point. It's fantastic. Wind farm. This is like... Indiana Jones before Indiana Jones. That's one of my favourite things. The thing about the rescue is like when all those blades come out the wall and sort of try and push them off the cliff into Sandy's waiting more. The thing is, okay, that's well done. Yeah, but really well done. That was really fast. Why trigger that with a pickaxe? Why is he going to try and get a pickaxe that's already moving? Sorry. I don't want to see her die, but really. Or Jacqueline. They're so wobbly. just like they're going to give you a malshiatsu massage. Chicken feet. I hate those two. I can't eat them. Do you eat? No, I don't eat. They're too grisly for me. She's been tortured by yum char. No, but that's what the things look like in the rescue as well. They're not very convincing. Well, you married. Robert married into the culture didn't you? I have eaten chicken's feet in order to impress my in-laws. And well, I'm fairly impressive anyway, whether I do that or not. Yeah, they're very pointy things. speaking of impressive people. This old fool. So it's Organon, the present apologise. He was also a well-known homosexualist in real life. It's not Jeffrey Balden. No, he is also... He escaped the death zone. I just like that you were allowed to be an actor and not have there was no Botox. No, that's right. Well, you know, some actors, and I think Ian McKellen among them has said, the acting, the acting world's obsession with looks means that a lot of, a lot of very talented actors aren't. No, sorry, it was Rory Kinnear because, you know, Rory Kinnear is not classically Brad Pitt or anything like that. Never said no to a pie. But it's he's good looking. He's got the plan. He's very good actor. You and I kind of think so, but the thing is, he's kind of said you know what? I know I know I'm kind of mid-range, but there's lots of actors who are being overlooked because of their looks. I just know where he's coming from. I think he's fantastic. You've seen that episode. He's gorgeous. Dark Mirror. Everything's just gorgeous. When he plays David Cameron before David Cameron. Yes, and the one that... The 1st men in the moon? Help me. You've lived in there forever and like just now you decide to get strangled. Well, the thing is, his safe word is help me and the plants just aren't listening. Oh, his safe words... He can't remember how to spell it. Dude, listen, what colour do you think Babs's cardigan is right on the back of a past postcard and send... I actually know. Pink or camel? It is it is baby blue. It is very light blue. So she had that many of them because I've seen the camel one and I've seen the pink one. This poor man's just seen Eric say where. The jungle is coming. I've just learned who's been cast as the 6th doctor, I think. Death, I tell you, death. No, Nate. He's just learned what scripts are coming up in season 24. You love season 24. I do not. You do? I've seen you enjoy it. I've watched you. I never enjoyed it. I an embarrassing pizza. I adore season 24. And I actually do too. And I'm glad Richard's going to be on that one. Todd's totally lying because I've watched him watch it. Well, I think I think what happens is you've watched Todd Watch Adulter in the Barrowman and he didn't projectile vomit that one time. So, I mean, technically it's improvement. John and the Baron. John of the Baraban. Still terrible. Oh. I'm in my trips. in Doctor Who of all time. is the worst actor. There is Jenny Land. No, he's worse. No, no, I think he's... He's the lord president for Markham Infinity, and believe you me he doesn't get much worse. Barrowman is worse because he goes on. He's actually a lot better in Doctor Who than he is in Torchwood. But the thing is, Torchwood doesn't serve everyone very well because it's like it's adults, so everyone has to be depressed. You wouldn't push him out of bed, would you? Yeah, I would. Really would. And you'd have this guy instead. Yep, totes. Lovely. He's a beard. He's a pushy controlling bottom. I have to say, PCB. You say that like it's a bad thing. All right. Oh, it changed the subject, suddenly. Oh, thank goodness somebody's dying. Oh, damn it. I'm already obsessed with this. If I could get death and disease and destruction into Doctor Who. Well the practical problem with leaving someone alone. That's your favourite episode, title day. Going back here, it deserves as much death as you think. Season 21. You wait till you get to it. There's massacres galore. And I was complaining last season, season 20 about not enough death and now it's gone the other way. you're sick of it. Suddenly we're in Oscar Wilde's flowering ranging room. What could possibly go wrong? It's a safe. Oh, a safe word. R23, oh, two. This is where termination proves that you can't do dialogue. Oh, this is where he previously. And because this is DE 302. I think because he's still alive at this point, we've got we've got Kenny Baker in there. That's DE 302. Oh, I thought he was the hand. Certainly not shoot. Just stop it. It's obviously one of those things that's meant to be a chemical formula. Sorry, sorry. Why is there a safe, just like an earth safe on an alien world? No, it's annoying me now. That's all they could afford. No, but no, it's the Paul writing. makes no sense. No, well come on. They're going to do an alien world and it's going to be full of telephones and microphones and shoes. The safe is justice. Did you say shoes? Shoes. I heard what you did there. Listener, write in, listener. They're juice everywhere. They're a juice in space. I seen Mel Brooks. Now, as you said, Nathan, it is friends have friends who are Jews go on. It is a chemical formula, which doesn't actually make sense with any of our... DE302. Although the discontinuity guide speculates that it might be drivel dioxide. love it. Todd, or indeed Brendan, who's flexing his cast as we speak because, you know, this is the kind of thing the listener likes to hear. What were the what was the ratings for this episode? It's crap, Todd. You know what? You're the expert. I'm actually not. actually quite stumped because I haven't looked this up, but I think it was... You don't care. No. 9000000s to 10. No. Dr. Wade. Doctor Who's getting married? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even even when Peter Davidson pulls his pants up and plays cricket he only gets 7 points something. It's like there's virtually rationing still going. Okay, I have the figures here. have the figures here. I think it does tail off. Episode one, 9.9. That's amazing. 9.4? This episode 9.9. What? Next week, 10.4. No. Does it drop off towards the end? It does. 7.9 and 6.9. Yes, thank you, Britain. Britain immediately post the war. Like there's rationing still going on. This is 64. And then... 64. Yeah, I know. There's 2 channels that haven't even invented masculation. Hey, they did have centrinians there. Sorry, Todd. My ears are burning. This is just unacceptable. The ratings. There an unearthly screeching sound. There you go. 10000000 people were in love with Barbara. Why wasn't it 40? Yeah, no. Actually, how many people owned televisions? Yeah, what was the population? don't know. I think the population mostly sold them to everyone. by this point. Well, the population of the UK currently is around 60 million. In 1964. No, now. What was it in 64? I don't know, but I'm thinking 25, 30 million. I'm making a prediction. Use the webby... I think it was more like the 30. Oh, look. Oh, it's the crinoline. immigration had started. Oh my goodness, he was the crenoid all along. He was the Captain Peacock all the time. That is such an in joke. Maybe Altos is actually Harrison Chase. fresh breath mint. That's Mentos. my favourite Doctor Who villain of all time. Really? He's the Kenneth Williams we never had. Who's your favourite Doctor Who villain of all time? My favourite Dr. Villain of all time would have to be... Colin Baker. Best store. Yes, he is. really good. And I've got to defend that. Oh, well, not yet. No, I'm making that up. So the favourite of 2 villain of all time. Eric Sand. Oh, look, there's a... So, Barbara, what was your favourite? My favourite Doctor Who villain of all time. No, you're Ian. No, I'm not sure. Oh, come on. Strangely enough. Oh sorry. Julian Glover, I think. Obviously. I'd go for Dubai. I go for Tobias Vaughan. Oh, yes, no, that's crazy. To know what possible other answer could there? You've already had the chin. And they found... They found the... They found the DS9 isolinear rod. There we are. which is exactly the same. So young Brendan. Population of the UK in the night in 1960 was actually 53 million. And it's only 65 million now. Okay, because we killed all of them. So 20% of the population was watching this? right. fantastic. And the thing is, even now, 10% of the population watch Doctor Who. Under Capaldi, did they watch? Under Capaldi. His ratings are averaging 6 million. My goodness. That's a bit tragic, though, because how many were watching Tenant? 10. 10. Oh, yeah. it's a different one. It's always going to drop off. I think it's a different media landscape. And I also think the show is older than it was. You know, like people are watching on different platforms. There's lot of channels even now and you are right. It is going to drop off. It's never going to be as big as it was under 10. He's drawing his fingernails by waving his hand in the air. So go on. Because we are going to take a slight toilet break, dear listener we have to stop talking by the end of the credits, but we will rejoin you for episodes four. You don't need to pause at all. Just keep playing. Thank you for listening. I hardly believe you'll still be here, but go on. John Gory, you're crap. Well, I refuse. What about you? Welcome back. It's a flight through entire cheese part 2 of the wonderful keys of Particle Marines. Yeah, that's it. We're the only Doctor Who podcast still going after 3 episodes of the keys of Mariners. That's one of the ratings for this one? A million... 10.4 for this episode. Just for that scene. Tuned in to cover William Russell and Jackie Hill in Jabalite. They're in deep distress. Now, of course, it's been it's been 4 trips to the toilet for us but mere seconds for you, dear listener, that's the nature of time travel. I'm too tired. It's all measured in urine. Go to sleep. Sleep in the snow. Oh, come on, Barbara. Don't do that. You're fabulous. You're wearing a jumper. Ian is wearing. I just say that linen. great acting from William Russell. She outacted him. Yes. Yeah, nothing else then. Well, as usual. Exactly. You know what, rules of terror? I just love Terry Nation. Screaming jungle, the snooze of terror, the script of boredom. Ex of wine. What do we think of termination? I actually quite like him. Yeah, actually too as well. You hated Planet of the Daleks, though. the 1970s. This is the 60s. Anything's forgivable. So you're kind of fresh. Yeah, by the 70s, he's kind of just doing the same old crap. It's been... It's Francis de Wolf, hasn't it? isn't that his wolf? Francis Wolf. I'm James Bond's from Russia with Love. And from the Tomorrow People's Slaves of Jedicar. Yes, that's right. He's he's Jedakana. Jedekiah. Yes. So also some lovely backcoming. Everyone's trying to do Babs' hair in this story. Terry Nation. a bit of a potty in, if you like that kind of thing. Well, Stalin, if you like Stalin, he's great. If you like being chased around the coffee table by some reeking guy clad in furs who hasn't had a bath for a long time, he's gorgeous. Well, it is almost Saturday. Oh, this is just... I'm sorry. I'd be saying, so you want to stay for coffee? It is gorgeous. It's actually John Richards, the writer about that. This is really disturbing. It is, he... Well, Richard, you do know that John Richards listens to it. very fond of... I am Vasor. Is that not Vaseline? I should mention to... He does not. things to do. I should mention to the listeners that John Richards, who we're discussing, works for the ABC, was one of the creat- he is hot. He was one of the creators of Outland, which was about... My favourite, actually my favourite little lampoonie sci-fi thing all time. It's the Futurama live action thing we never had. Yeah, it's a gay science fiction fan club, and especially Doctor Who fans. But John Richard was also the driving force behind the Splendid Chaps podcast, which was the inspiration for the entirety Todd over to you. We just had some educational thing there. What happened to Frostbite? putting our hands near the fire and actually just then just rubbing them. Very useful for any... I think Vasor may have had... Ropey bacteria motive there. As Nathan used to call it Barbara and Ian together. No, the thing is, I agree. I think that, um, Go on. I don't know. Well, that is true about frostbite, that you shouldn't warm the hands too quickly. See, we are educational. And because it's Barbara, it just comes across as natural. It's not. Do you know, Susan? We still use the word hashashin in English today? Barbara's face just fucking covered that line. The educational podcast. Oh, John Lucarate. We love it. There's actually nothing on Francis De Wolfe's face that actually works together. You can play the Billy Piper thing. like, which is the most Yiddish? Is it the, the, there's that scary nose? No, it is actually No, I take that back. It's actually, no, it's actually doing. It's actually, it's actually style and fuzzy film. Like what's the scariest thing is, yes, is it the scariest beard? Is the scary pointy nose? Is that the he's really ironing the way with a beard, isn't he? There's nothing... Actually, I have, I have some European relatives that look not unlike. Oh, he's just... That being... Also, De Wolf, he's called De Wolf. You can't hold twat. Come on. your real name? It's Gabriel De Wolf. No, you're people. Oh, Gabriel. No, he was Gabriel Dubble. You just didn't see Nathan's hands gesture. Oh, sure. She is the 5th podcaster after all. I'm allergic. That's what you say. Mary Tyler Moore, the Mary Tyler Moore show. Mary gets Soutex Frock. she? Oh, that's going up on the page. Put that up there. Yes, she actually does wear. Yeah, she looks like Suitech. And the thing is... The screen grabs I managed to get, she's giving people side eyes as you would imagine. And they're glowing green. Not side boobs. Sorry, Jack. Oh, James. What is Ian wearing right now? Or something that's going to keep his body warm, but his hands are just going to drop off. Well, the thing is, I'm more worried about Altos's legs, actually in this episode. Are you really? I think you might be really pleasantly surprised shortly because they might... Is there a way of keeping it warm? Oh, there is, there is. Elevate them? Hello, mate. Elevate. Oh, did you see the log? Aviate. Oh, Christ. Oh, we just did the locky thing. Okay, how many times in 2 years does Barbara get raped? rapey, rapey eyes. Not quite as often. No, thanks, Eric, say a word. Yeah. God, she's really going to hate you right now. Yeah, why does it, why are you in 20 years? Oh, oh, there's... How does she get rape threats? It is really only this and then... This, an unearthly child? Oh, okay. Look, here we go. Crusade. It's a hilarious race. That's right. Oh, and the Crusade, of course. So 4 times. Oh, he's his hands are bound. Well, you know what? I think with Vaseol living up in the mountain, He doesn't really mind whether you're a boy or a girl. He's lonely. And look, I actually think some of those skins on the wall didn't have an easy time getting up there. Are they really? No, really? Well, we'd say no. Well, I find his, I find his bedside manner quite charming. And his musk. For the listener at home. That's a glam. I will just say it is hard to tenderise your venison when you're this high up in the mountains, so... That's it. I have no problem. He's been he's like Unique, but he owns 5 Apple watchers. Sabita's chain. How does he have? Where did you get? of the keys. Well, he doesn't have 5 of the keys, but he has 4 of the travel dials. There's nothing sexy about him. He's like an evil, creepy Santa. He's like he's like Joe Hockey and John Howard had a baby. Yeah, and he was coming after you. around the coffee table. And oh, with that thought deal listener, they just went back inside. He just looks like the reason most of those Povo countries in Europe aren't allowed into the ECC. So, Eurovision, though. Eurovision, that's fine. Can we talk about something slightly triggering? Because this is sort of problematic with the... Lovely war texture. Is that what you talking about? We did talk about it when we originally covered this episode and it isn't something that Doctor Who does again. Well, it's it's almost as bad in the crusade. It's not quite, it's not quite as violent in the television. This is the most immediate until Perry is seduced by a slug. Yes. Yes. Sorry. But even then, this is this is possibly... And you're Canos. I was going to say, sorry about that, Brian Blessed, but I mean, it is until that, it's, this is actually an entire, this is a seduction scene. No, this is a, it's a one-sided... It is awful, but the thing is they're not not playing it. Hey, here we go. And on the other hand, in this seduction scene. How are your legs? There's also bad stuff happens in the time meddler as well, doesn't it? That's very true. Oh, yeah, yeah. But I'm in a regular character. I mean, what's her face? What's her name? Richard Franklin. Yeah, yeah. Richard Franklin, in the time Medler, who does get a horny cow hat. No, she gets like totally kind of ravished and stuff and then is up making everyone tea the following episode. It is awful. pretty much. Yeah. I think the important thing is, oh, it's given him... I give I totally had that when I was in Seoul. Did you? Actually, I thought it was so cool. You know, you know what? The wrestlers are doing the coat check at a dance party later this year, and I'm sure there'll be men carrying around bags of meat. At least that's how I understand it. But no, the, the, the, the, do listener, if you care to attend. The thing is, with this scene with Barbara and... And the sequence... This is awful. Yeah, it is. Barbara is actually really realising that her personal disposition is about to be inflanged and it's not a good thing. No, no, but it's I'm in no hurry, he said, but really. It's important that it is portrayed, it's, in a way, it's important that it's portrayed warts and all. not portrayed as a joke. I'm sorry, did you just say wars? No, no, but I still have a problem with it being family entertainment. Yes, that's also... Well, I know I love that you get the duality. There's something for the grown-ups. The kids wouldn't even notice. No, no. You know, as a kid, I didn't pick up. you wouldn't pick up on it. As an adult, this is really awful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I love the Doctor Who can do adult entertainment. It isn't a kids' show. He wants her hair. He is a monster and she is fabulous and also, why would he have paused at that point? But no, this is actually one of the most powerful. the most powerful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. the most powerful. Yeah, yeah, Ian. The most powerful scene in Doctor Who, possibly of all time. But she should have pushed him into the fire, though. Well, that's what you and I will done, but that's because we're like that. But the thing the thing with Barbara is. Barbara, I don't think ever takes a life even when her own is threatened. No, she doesn't. Not like Nathan and Richard. And unlike Nathan and Richard. Well, Todd just kills them before... Todd just kills me before he enters the room. Yeah. And and me, he hates everything. And, you know, me. Look, when the stress gets changed. Also, also, hello, Sappho. Hello. Sappho and Sabitha. Yes. It was a great cop show, wasn't it? Look, you know, when the Australian... This is like the moment Louise here. Where's the fricking cliff when you need it? Okay. I'm so, it's just awful in this and I love her and she's still awful. The problem is she's catching. It's very beautiful. She is. What are you trying to say? She's very unique, but I just think she looks really unique. You know, sort of like, she has a beauty about her, but can... Oh, you're just being blonde centric because you're lovely and blonde yourself. The thing is, they They also haven't given Carol... They haven't given Carol a great one costume in this. One is swinging 60s and the other one's set back in the 50s. Look, you know what? We have we have received a notion of what Caroline Ford's acting is like. She's actually no worse or better than anybody else on screen right now. No, and only there's only can only be one Jacqueline Hill, like there's only one son at the centre of the system. You know, I've been thinking about a lot about Susan's character recently because I've been asked to write an essay on the Dalek Invasion of Earth and how that changes the series. And I've always said that I prefer, doesn't it? I prefer Vicky to Susan. And I think the essential reason is, as I said, in episode one of this commentary, I have no problem with Carol Anne's performance and I think she gives a wonderful performance with really often quite poor material. I think the problem is the material makes her character into a pessimist. And this is... And Ian and Barbara, even though they're stolen away from home they're often quite enthusiastic about my thing, isn't she, the whole time? Whereas Vicki is... Davidson's 1st memory, kids. Yes, yes, that's right. But yeah, it was actually born during this very, very... But like you said, Speak it out right now. Vicky is excited to be there. Exactly. Makes a big difference. What were you saying, son? No, I was just getting back to the action on screen. We were going across this rope bridge. I think it's better than what did they spend a whole episode jumping across in the dead planet? Like, you know? Yeah. They've improved things a bit. By adding a bridge? Bridge creaking. That's made it across. That's no way to describe Catherine Saltville. It's like, yeah, literally, they could have... This is 1964 and blink and you've missed that. Yeah, they're doing very well. I think it's amazing. Why are they some... Yeah, there's a lot of... Why are we suddenly all chummy with... or the raby guy? He needs to go down this chasm into nothing. I actually can't remember what happens to him. Do you think he actually becomes a famous men's rights activist or joins gamer gate or something? What's happening to him? He already is. Do you know this show's called Doctor Who? I'd forgotten that the doctor wasn't in. Actually, how long has it been since we've seen Billy? This is his 2nd episode. his 2nd week off. And we just missed a bit where there was more footage missing when Barbara went across the bridge, so they reversed a little bit of footage of Ian and Vasor. They look like Barbara when you're averse them? Well, you see, what happens is they keep Barbara walking across the bridge while they reverse the right hand side of the frame. It's very clever I just can't believe that his legs are... You bad guy. Well, also, kind of nice calves. You're all stupid. They're stupid. I'm about to guest star in the biggest show of all time, the tomorrow people. I've only got to sit on this shelf for 10 years and I'll be a star. Todd, what was that you were saying about Robin Phillips' legs? I believe. Three episodes later? Get warm. They must be impervious to cold. Well, Todd, if you put your legs down for a moment, the rest of us could watch this. Now, just jealous. Now, the thing is, this is a connection I'm going to make, but some listeners may make, but I don't think any of any of you will make. At the same time, I 1st watched this as a child. I had a rather wonderful game, which has often come top of game video games of all timeless. What do you think this is going? The legend, the legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time. Oh, yes. Which it has an idea. I hated those things. I don't even know what he's talking about. I want watch this. You blow this. Sorry, the famous girl. blow into them, girl. It has an ice cave. Oh stop it. And, you know, so this is computer graphics in 1996 looks every bit as good as this set. Yeah, that's not really flattering either. Have you signed up for the new Mario game on the iPhone? I didn't know you could sign up yet. Can you sign up yet? Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the Doctor Who fans at home. Are you talking about Nintendo? What, it's a new Susan Foreman game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just sit there and just grimace at the screen. panic about a bunch of stuff This is Peter Davis. You can't possibly do things. Hello, Doctor Who. There's a rant, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to have my head cut off. Ship over a non-existent bush. Nathan such a hater. This is Peter Davidson's 1st memory of Doctor Who. Yes, it is. He was 46 when he 1st saw this. I'm still I'm still just imagining the Susan Foreman go app. So there's buttons for B-Maudalen, Scream, Telequit. Telecommunication, quit, be sacked. B-Sack. Oh sorry. Quit. That's our story isn't it? sticking with it. Not actually grand. So she was fired. No, she wasn't. wasn't fired. Well, come on. No, well, look, verity. Carol Anne... William Russell all said she wasn't fired. So I, I, have you ever heard anyone say she was fine? No, I know. Nathan said she was doing fine. Yeah. No, it was ever fine. Not even Tom. Not even Tom. Even after that drunken interview on nationwide. Sue Lawley. I'm just remembering that time, Richard, when I suggested publishing transcripts of the podcast and you said, but I make so many things up. I do. make a bunch of stuff up. I particularly remember one, but I'm not going to mention it because a friend of the podcast, Stephen Wood actually emailed me and said, I didn't know that was true. I just wrote back. Yes. Which one? It might be true. I think I think during one early podcast, I think that you claim... I think you claim... And he really is. No, but I think you claimed that Derek Ware was Colin Baker's father. He was, yeah. All know that. They're rubbing sticks together. What could possibly go wrong? They're rubbing Altos's legs together. Well, same thing. Oh, God, I can't believe we're not still doing that. They're all going to, speaking of Derek, where they're all going to get... ice cracking Altos size. Ian Granton. In grunching. Oh, look, Al just pulled his pants down there just to cover... It's a lady. Of course he would. This is, you know, I can see why Peter Davidson wanted to be the doctor just from this episode, wouldn't you? It's very cold, but imagine if Scorpia had been wearing those pants. He was the Captain Peacock all the time. You know, I do wonder if mobly. We should explain that. Scorbi from, um, Scissor Boom is now Captain Peacock in the new... I've seen that episode so many times and I didn't even realise the most exciting thing about John Chalice. It is. What did you think of it? This isn't. I actually found it the most exciting thing of all time. For God's sake, just kill both of the girls. I love new. I want a whole series of audio being so based on that. I really want it. It's got our own Nicky Wardley. From 8th doctor episodes of Doctor Who or whatever. She's a companion in the Big Finish, as Miss France. Tamzin. She's in the big finished audio. Yeah, so, yeah, Miss Brahms, he is Tamzin from the doctor. Thank you, Brendan. Corby. going home to watch that. She plays Scorpion, the Doctor Who... Do you know as we as we record? Well, Susan's about to do something terribly bright. In a gong suit, as Katie Manning. She was the Katie Manning all the time. She was actually just as Katie Manning in that she's wearing sheep. Now, yeah, I, you know, As a New Zealander. also, also, Carol Anne's looking really great. you know, with the whole kind of, I'm cranky and I'm about to do something stupid look. She's doing what we will later, and Barry, let's will later credit Elizabeth Sladen for doing so well in that she's doing something very brave and being scared at the same time. I think you're going to say brave, brave and very stupid. Very brave and being a panicky idiot as usual. And Altos just called her fat. He said it'll never take away. Do you realise she's meant to be playing a 17 year old girl? What did you just say? We're allowed to say that. She's playing a 17-year-old girl. Do you know any 17 year old girls who are emotionally reliable? I'll just put it out. Yes. Who? Apart from yourself, who? They're a 17 year old. Yeah, girls who are not... Also, that bit of luck looks like a willy. I thought it looked like a horse. No, look, it's moving. It's a big, oh, it's broken now. I see the horse, Todd. I just saw the Willie. I was actually thinking Willie as well. No, one a piece, Davis, I wanted a bit off. And what's she climbing across? This is really rude. There was so ice cracking and lots of bottoms in this. She's made it. There are two. They're lovely. Jacqueline Hill is not impressed by her bum. And there's the title of the end. There are 2 types of people in this world, aren't they, Todd? Oh, we're going to go across the bridge. What was it that Peter Davidson found so captivating that he had to star in the show? He was very young. And actually, there are a lot of, yeah, no, he was 46%. There are a lot of similarities to terminus here. And that it's unwatchable. So, yep, what have we had? We've had front bottom crack. What? We've had the 1st 13 episodes with the Daleks and all of that sort of thing. We've had dressing from the left there. And then we've had Marco Polo and we've had... This is what I heard. This is essentially Terry Nations like 10th or 11th episode of the program. It's his royal command performance. He's written more than everybody else. But he's actually already written an entire episode in the Daleks where all everyone does is like go across a chasm. Yeah, and then like he's run out of here. I'm gonna have to do another hole going across a chasm episode. We're back and now we're going to go and we're going to leave you to your brand new friends. How come they're all getting on with rapey vasil now? No, no, they're not made up. They're just, they're just taking their stuff back from him. They're coming. Well, bad luck, man. But what are they going to do? Is he going to be eaten by wolves? No, oh, he's going to be my favourite moment by the things. No, this is my favourite moment. They said, oh, I'll have it gone. Look at her face. Yeah, well, that's... Get off him. She's tired. Get away from T. She's not doing panicky idiot there. She's doing... Ow, ow, ow. You stabbed me in my stab wound. No, you just don't. Yeah, they... I've tried, and you can't kill someone with just one step. You know, when the pressure gets too much at work, I just slip out into the night and take a single human life. Have you noticed that James isn't in this? Meanwhile, in episode five? Someone's sleeping. I just love that they're in a museum with all the, no, actually, I would, no, save it. Hey, what's this? Okay, Richard, that looks like a peanut. Are you allowed to say that, Nathan? Yeah, yeah. He's been struck by a penis. What's this show called? What? Doctor Who? Who's that? Yeah, it's Billy's had 2 weeks off. So he'll be back next week. What are you trying to say? Because I'm actually feeling that this is an episode of May Grey or one of those. No, seriously. Or early, very early Avengers. This is really feeling like, because it's pretty much live action. Okay, it was pre-recorded, but they played it and shot it and acted it as if it was live to air because you really didn't get a retake unless you said something along the lines of the things that Nathan says. not actually allowed to. You're not allowed to sentence to death, which is what I'm going to get if I keep this up. That's what Terry Nation often writes. I hope, dear listener, that you're also drinking, watching this because there's no other way to watch this. It's the sentence of death. Look at all these marvellous people, all their fabulous careers are about to unfold for. How many of them still alive? No, because they're not alive. Same difference. Terrible. It's a mercy killing. But, you know, the rest of them. I think, do you know, I think they're all dead. I think from the cast that may be about it. Catherine Schofield may still be with us, who is Sabitha? What about John Gory? You know, we were talking about some... Are you being served and the remmate? What else would you talk about? Everyone's from Are you being served as dead? Every single Captain Peacock died at the age of 92 in 2000 and blah. And it's like the western front, isn't it? And like everyone's completely dead. Mr. Lucas died very young. Yeah, you went a few years ago. Actually, is Mr. Spooner still alive? Yeah, he died of anal cancer, though, very recently. Mr. Spooner? Yeah. Induced by acting. No, they're all dead. Mr. Spooner is also in Wurzel Gummidge, the New Zealand down under years. It's true. Mr. Spooner plays the dad in the John Pertui, Wurzel Gummidge, in his classic, Wurzel Gummidge. Well, do you think does any of are you being served down under survive? Interestingly, yes. But it hasn't been released. It was released on VHS, but not on DVD. The Homeborne is the Mr. Lucas character. June Bronhill as the Mrs. Slocum character. The unborn was Mr. Humphries, wasn't he? No, he was Mr. Lucas. Who is Mr. Humphreys? Mr. Humphreys was Mr. Humphreys. It was John Edman. Oh, of course. The only original player from the Info. Yeah, yeah. John Inman. June Braunhill was, yeah, was Jim Braunhill. You was fine. And beautifully, if there are any English listeners, Grace Brothers has been a department store in Australia since, well, for almost 100 years. And there weren't any problems with the rights in the original broadcaster, are you being said? Bone Brothers. But they changed it to Bone Brothers. So it was a Grace Brothers. And it was actually, and Grace Brother said, no, we're fine with that. Call it Grace Brothers. and Channel 7 was made here. Oh, no, we shouldn't give free advertising. That's how different society was then. Other department stores. Because there's also available. Yeah, there's nothing rude in the title Bone Brothers. Well, guess what? If you want to see it, go to YouTube and search for are you being served down under the whole series is there. How good is it? I challenge you to get to the 1st ad break because I couldn't. That being said, Shane Bourne with hair is surprisingly hot. And June Bronhill. She's quite good, but hot. I think the problem... I think the problem is because, um, are you being served, heat now this guy's a bit hot, bit stern. Oh, if you and your Nazi uniforms, Brandon. The usual Taryn from a... eyes. Yeah. But, um... He's looking in and up and down. Where's Altoff's? Are you being served is very much based on class warfare. That's John Miles, isn't it? sitting on the chair, yeah. I shall fire you on. If you do not follow my intentions, then my hugo bar. Actually, he reminds me of it. It's the 1939 to 1945. Yeah. In other words, fish eyes in a Hugo boss Nazi uniform. Sorry, sorry. Look, it's Richard. I can't believe it's not Richard Franklin. Does he listen to this podcast? Richard Frank. can't believe he does. We mention him constantly. I to mention him. Well, good on him. He's Twitter. I think he's fabulous. Richard Franklin. No, I have a cron job set up on my computer to just sort of pestering. A what job? You know, it's a computer-y thing. Oh, I don't know. He's about those figs. It's a beautiful thing. He's a proper smell. Yeah. It's a macrobite modem. I'm looking to... I'm not. After the Tom Baker hornet's nest stuff. I'm really looking forward to the Lala Ward Richard Franklin episodes that they'll be cross-pollinating. The 1st episode is called Fish Eye, I think. Meanwhile, I love your cards. You look like a dog. I want to pat you. Back on the planet. Do you like my collar? It's really upright. I didn't get everything. Oh God. Do you like my hair? Yeah, I love your hair. By the way, I have really full upper lips. I'm like most Russians. So we're back here. Oh, he's really not working for me, is he? There's Ian saying, I've got more testosterone in my little finger than you've got in. Well, let's call it your little finger. I'm going to talk on the telephone because I'm on an Indian planet. What were you complaining about before that they have flippers or something on an alien planet? Well, I didn't mind that. And now we have a telephone. But this is like, just silly. Taryn? Oh my goodness. He was the Stephen thingy all the time. No, it's his name is teranium core. What was the point? Thank you. What was the name for that bloke behind the fridge? That they, he just appeared for a 2nd and then we closed the fridge door because no, he's not in this thing right now. You are mine. I love your family out and your stupid backcoming your English weights. I will have you for now. you are mine. By the way, do you really love my clutch bag? I my heart right now. How much have you drunk? No, we do this every podcast. You do this every podcast. what we do. Yeah, Todd, you haven't heard Bondfinger. Every time a Germanic, Nazi. I don't think I put that... Is it? I love the gap between his front teeth. That's ¢50 and I'm talking 2 20s and a 10. Is is really not impressed with this dude. Oh, I don't think so. I don't know. He's got a nice eyelashes. He's got a 40s look to him. Yeah, I see. 1940 to 1945. And then Argentina for the next 25 years. Is this a good time to mention that this is a replacement story? For what? Wow. Originally. of the space whale? No. Originally in this slot was a story called The Hidden Planet. No. And the one that's behind the... Yeah, it's the one that's... Now, are you sure that's not a furfy? Because Doc is muchly through the whole hit... Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah. Because they're naughty front bottles. It was partially based in truth. And it was an original story. The idea was there was a 10th planet in the solar system, which was on the opposite orbit to earth. So same orbital part. Doppelganger. A doppelganger. Women were gonna be the dominant sex. Barb, the double of Barbara was their leader. Fields Airlocks. Barbara was their leader. Oh, yeah. We moved to the nearby parallel universe where that happened. And Billy's back. Galaxy four. They're all excited. It's called the worm that turned. But do you want to know who the writer was? No, please, tell us. Ryan Hale. Malcolm Hulk. Oh, amazing. Yeah. So the thing is, it could have actually went wrong. That's too good. Just the scripts weren't really deemed highbrow enough, really. Verity wasn't happy. highbrow. Archimand giants wandering. That's not Cyril Shaps. going to eat Todd. Five. Civil shaps? Yeah. Pretty much. are they aren't. This is where the budget ran out because really... They're wearing on their heads like... You see, like, you know, you see little lamb cutlets in the stores with little... Oh, yeah. Are you frozen? Two of these judges. The middle judge, and I believe the judge on the right, were I soldiers last week? Oh great. And they were also Venn Glynd and the justice machine from the 1st episode. This is a Venn diagram for Todd's Snog Mary avoid, isn't it? So which of the guards? It's a sch which you're saying. Which would you kill and which would you? I haven't seen all 3 of them yet. What Joe, how are you feeling for this? I'm not doing anything. Oh yes, you are. It's your game. I'm sorry, his teeth. I'm sorry, but there are... I'm avoiding him. Yeah, no, it's really hot right now. They're just Buddhists. It's perfectly fine. By the way, this is a plug for the bad dog party. I think I, and the theme is Bad Dog the Musical, and I'm going because every musical has Nazis. I'm actually going. Okay, is that an Nazi-esque sort of superman? That's what I've been saying. Sorry. That's all right. Okay, judges, snog marry, kill. The judge on the left, I would snog, the judge on the right, I would marry and the judge in the middle, I would kill. Good. I'm telling Ron. Pickering. Hooray! It's Captain Molotov. Actually, the one on the left is kind of hot. Yeah, exactly. That's why I'd snorke him. I married the one on the right. He looks a bit like Simon Pegg. I like Simon Pegg. Yeah, one in the middle, I have to murder. Can I just say? But he's probably got the biggest... Ah, well, my nutsu, your my farm has a clock. What do you think? I was going to say vocabulary. What were you going to say? I say no capes. Hey, boy, Altos. Oh, so enthusiastic. Get rid of the fact. Well, Billy used to go... Billy used to go holidaying with Charles Haughtry, so we can't have had... I think a lot of the stuff we've heard about Billy. Oh God, Billy, I love your teeth. You know what? I think Billy may have disliked the fags, as it were, but you're okay kind of thing. I think he might have made exception. I think he actually decided day to day, depending on how much, how bad a mood he was in, pretty much like how we do this podcast. Yeah, that's true. I actually think I think he was... No, no. And I think that I think that that's clear. I think there's other evidence that he didn't act with Max Adrian just because he was gay because people knew that he acted with other people who were gay. I mean, I think we've out lied to that, yeah. But he was also sort of horrifically joking, by the way. What do you think? Well, he was also English. Oh yeah, I know. But not everyone in English in the 90s English. He had to go with that South American bird and a cup of cocoa. yeah that is true. Hello? Oh, what's that? That's a pen. Even though she's actually in Dutch. It's a sideways pen. Also books. Also, hello, I'm back. Smokeberry avoid. Tara. What about in this scene? And who's the other hottie in this store? Donald Pickering? Oh look, he's lost 2 rolls of war paper. Okay. And from under his arms, I mean. I'd match... I'd marry Altos because he wanders around without his pants on and I approve of that. See, it's such a window into your private life. I would snog Donald Pickering, and so I suppose I'd kill Taron despite the fact he's also quite hot. Yeah, but my waste scanner is like going off. Terron's super busy getting everything out of Dabros's safe, you know. That is the night all the time. Oh my god. Okay, I get it now. He's Neider Jr. Oh, by the way, I'm wearing gloves, by the way. It's so nice to have Billy back. It really is. And what I love about the story, do you love uniforms? I don't even have to wear this. I just do it because I can. I've been really, we don't even have to wear uniforms. This story starts. Oh, that's so well. I could be speaking Greek for all I know, and we could just overdump. Yep. This story starts with... How about our news? Choose to throw our own outfits to other shit. Not like that. This story starts with the doctor and his companions being forced into... Hidden Planet. No, it starts with this story starts with the doctor and his companions being forced into going on a mission and they don't want to go on it. By this point, they are determined to repair injustice. This is where it becomes a show about, we go places, we start revolutions and we help people. Revolution. Are we getting money? I do license the show becoming Doctor Who. This is the show becoming... And we getting that, though? Because mostly I'm getting hand acting. Hand acting. Oh he's great at hand. Oh, God, he's so good. Don't try and do it, Caroline. You can't keep it. I mean, that's not that's not inconsistent with hand acting. But I mean, think about what we've had so far. We've had Mac, we've had, you know, cavemen, Edge of Destruction Daleks, and, you know, Daleks. We weren't ever trying to, like, correct anything or do anything wrong. The only reason they lead a revolution in the Daleks is to get their ball back, basically. Because naughty, naughty Billy dropped it deliberately. I love that Billy could just do that. But here they are actually trying to do something. And so can we blame Terry Nation for the eventual trajectory that the show will take. Absolutely. Absolutely. Because remember, Verity wasn't expecting the Daleks to be a success, and Verity wasn't expecting those themes to be a success. Verity kind of wanted to do conceptual sci-fi and then found herself in this conceptual action adventure, which she went along with because she's like, this is where it's naturally evolving because she was a dynamic creator. smart, smart woman. That's the point. so creative and so fresh. nobody knew what was going to happen next. That's why this is so enigmatic to watch now. Also backcoming. I have a paradigm where I want David Whittaker to be responsible for everything good in Doctor Who that Malcolm Hulk is not responsible. Yeah, the thing is, David, everything good that Malcolm Hulk's not responsible for. or, yeah, no, essentially. And Eric Say would is responsible for everything, loathsome and harassing. Is that the problem with the series? We have Whittaker. We have Hulk. We have homes and then we have sabred. Well, Holmes is awful. And then homes and Seywood, which is like anti-matter and massa. But Holmes had a sense of humour because Holmes would have a have a quite similar sensibility. I know, but Holmes is clever and say would... also hates the show. Well, and really, tongue in cheek, I love hating things disposition. Yeah. And so... Hooray. It's Fiona. Oh, we loved her. Certainly we're all at home. Do you really love that? Also side ice. Yeah, because not in this. I just love her today. How can you not love her in everything? Oh, I'm not at home, you fricking Avon girl. Three women in a scene. Oh, hooray. I think that the 1st time ever. And unfortunately, they're still talking about men. Yeah, as usual. Oh, yes. The thing is... Her frock is so 60s. I think it's actually just very arrogant. But on a black man was wearing things like this before they hit on the leather and suede wardrobe. She was too. Who is flattering the waste, though, is it? And she gives it away with the whole micro key thing, doesn't she? That happens twice, as Brendan alluded to before. It actually happens twice in these 2 episodes. People just give them. It's an alien planet. Why don't they have tall boy bureaus and, you know, like and Chesterfield's... They have shoes and dresses and everything, every planet. Because we had those, but funny, you're filthy, human style, the perfectly timed. Oh, yes. Are they having an affair? So this is our this is our husband. So this is Aidan and Carla. Is Carla having an affair with her husband? Is this Aidan, is it? This is Aidan. Snorg bearing a Boyd? Aidan Altos. There you go. Can I marry Kara? I want those 2 to get their own spinoff series. Who? Oh, I want I want them to have their own seat. No one knows where it is. You fool. In the thing. You're a cop, for God's sake. Chesterfield told you where he hit it. Oh, dear. No, you're not very convincing. I'm sorry, this is the clue moment. Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests? You don't need any help from me, sir. I shall pretend to backswipe you with my handy thing. Oh, this is great. Also, her bun looks like an ovipositor. That's great. A hairdo as a cloaca. Oh my god, Zorak's been here. chair in that corridor. Sorry, go on. I really want Zara and Bumface to have their own sitcom, Maradol sitcom. They're having it through the... He launches a... He launches her into Spain. Where are they? so that she can orbit around the planet. Marinace. What city is this? Millennius. Because it goes forever. Millennia. And we did just have a bit of domestic violence there, which I think should be commented on. This is the 60s. This looks like... I'm sorry. The miracle... Yes. Now he's playing Ison. Oh, I send. I send, also, this also is the GHD and we'll curse my bangs. sort of phone thing, so to speak. Also, it's got 3 settings. And I'm wearing gloves. You're young twins, you know, that one might not go through with it. What do you reckon? Why do you reckon phones never looked like that in the city? Because he's rude. They look great. They're awesome. nice chairs. Also, I want that hat. I should like a hat like that Also, he's wearing a cake. What the freak is that hanging on his belt? It's a space gun. That's what he told his shooter wife. It's a penis gun. Yeah, no, it's a total space gun. This is a total nation story. Oh, there's a reason he walks like that. Oh my god. What a trial of a trial. He was the Michael J. We don't get 14 episodes of that. Oh, so ow, that's gonna really hurt. Yeah, it's not trial of a time lord. What's he wavering? People are murmuring. You know it's not trial of a timeline. Because there's more than 3 camera angles. I also need to say no more. And we're storm free. There's a better set. Ooh, at least there's still war games with people in the back. Boo, Boo, Boo. rhubarb. All those women in the back wearing the same... Also, I just want that. Oh, no, you won't kiss him. Actually, don't they hang those hats in like the doors of cool rooms to keep the cold air inside? No, no, no. I like Todd's theory that they go on like chicken drumsticks and stuff. Dum, dum, dum. Billy's wearing a fall, isn't he? He's wearing one on a black... I think that Donald Pipping is so bored by this child. He's already applying for a job at Gatwick, or starring as a chicken alien. I'm pretty sure. In the 1980s. Yes. I'm pretty sure Billy has a new wig here. It's got, it's, it goes out to the side a bit more. This is kind of Billy's traditional week because early on in the story, it was far too far back. was one I prepared earlier. He does look like he's got a Barrette on though. Yes. It won't be quite finalised yet. No, I love he's put a lot of effort into that hairdude. It's pretty fabulous. I hate you all. It is here. Is he looking relaxed, do you think? No, mostly Billy just thinks they're all idiots. That's why I love Billy. I see what you mean, though, Todd. It's... He's found what he wants to do in the role and I think that goes hand in hand with becoming more heroic. Also, also, oh, please, Tamara belongs to me. Sorry. Put out your hands. Handsome hips. Well, groaning. Looks like that gun was cocked. You'll be surprised you're doing the French mistake. Faggots. Slides like steam escaping. I should point out we are quoting from Blaze. And phrase. Fiona Walker, you will. Oh, Fiona... She's doing Medeia right there. Look who is that? Who was she in? She's in i Claudius. All things will not be happening. Is she a Jacoby? Agrippina? is she supposed Derek Jacoby? She does. I think she's awesome in it. She has the most impressive teeth. Donald Pickering's looking at Billy like, I'm gonna steal your show. I am so good. Forget Patrick. He's really loving that finger, isn't he? Forget Patrick Trouton. I'm coming in next. And I'm gonna, I look better in a cape than you. Yeah. Oh, bless him. God, I love Billy. Isn't he so superb? He really hates everyone. But that's the thing. It's genuine too. I miss that. I miss that about popular culture. Billy is the old, if call centres existed in the 1960s. Billy is who you would have got on the other end. Not this have a nice day and how are you feeling? And I would have been... Doesn't that annoy you? The whole thing. Yeah. 4th century. How are you going today? Well, much better if you just answered my call. how we're going today. Billy would have just... You see, I like to really stum them by saying, I'm fine, thank you and yourself, and usually they have to pause for a few seconds because nobody ever asks how they are. I'm in a giant hellhole with like a big headset on my head answering your question. Obviously. I want to die. That's what we should have done on Are you okay, day? We should have called random call centres and just, do you have questions? Are you okay? Are you okay there? I think that's the highlight. These people are, this is, yeah, I'm not. Yeah, I'm gonna snog that going on the on the on the right. Yeah. He's got a fabulous moustache. I think it might be fake. Really? Yeah. I think he I think he might have borrowed... Anthony Ainley, do you think? Well, he could have. I was thinking even more impressive from some people in creature from the pitch, but we weren't... Or maybe on the Antarctic Bay. Despite the dramatics and hysterics of recent events. Oh, yeah. Someone a wife crying because her husband's been shot. That's hysterics. No, that's emotion, you evil man. No, it's weirdly suspicious. It's weirdly suspicious. And it's hysterics because she's a woman. A man, a man wouldn't cry over his wife dying like that, you stupid woman. She has wandering womb. Screw you, Isaac. Wandering. I think the worst this gets the better it is. Is that the def- that is the definition is we've just got the 60s cap. This is Susan Sontal's definition of camp, this story, because it's trying very hard. It's take itself seriously. No, no, no. No, no, it's not. It's not disagreeing with you. No, no, true. I mean, Go and read that essay. It's brilliant. No, no, I have. Don't you think this is like the 1st episode of Blake 7 where Blake's put on trial? No, this is fun. Whereas that is all dark and talks about kitty fiddling. Yeah, it is terribly good. It's actually the Michael Jackson all the time, but this is this is proto-serious or quasi-serious, but it's just totes camp. and Ben is fabulous, of course. There's enough about it that's good. There's lots of stuff that is ridiculous. But isn't there a lot of gays in his... He's like, he's like the court clerk, if you like. Yeah. was very interested. Go back and rewind and have a look. Don't you think that's what Terry Nation is reaching for the whole time? I think he's reaching for the envelope to write the entire script on the back of... Not 4 ideas. Hello, Stephen Moff. He wants to be much more garnered, grown up, an adult and stuff. Well, this is, I think that's what Vasor is about. I think I think Vasor is there because he wants to be edgy and adult and gun and like he just misfires and ends up with sort of camp and massively inappropriate. They saw is the most this present, realist, scary shit in so far in Doctor Who, possibly in Doctor Who of all time. Oh, but don't you think it was unintentional? Next episode, I think he was very writing, but I think it's very effective. I think everything Nation does is lazy writing. You see, yeah, I think so. I don't think it's not effective for that. That's the big. Terry Nation may not... Occasionally he's groundbreaking like when he creates the Daleks. Well, he doesn't really. I mean, Raymond Qic creates. But I would argue... Yeah, the concept is actually really old. Dalek invasion of Earth, perhaps. But he's always reliable. You're never bored watching a Terry Nation story. Except in... Plant of the Daleks. Oh, no, Droid Invasion, I would say. Three out of 4 commentators are never bought. No, no, but I agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's really reliable. I still love Android Inversion. No, it's terrible. And an interesting thought just to go to me. We just had a cliffhanger where Susan has been kidnapped. And of course, you know, we kind of look at Susan's character and go, oh, you know, she's always falling over and twisting her ankle and getting kicked. she twists her ankle once. But it just occurred to me that this is really the 1st time Susan's being kidnapped and the others have to rescue her. In the last story, it was Barbara who got kidnapped by the Hashashins. Oh, good point. And we could argue that's another uncomfortable rapey subtext for Barbara, but they do Barbara does just say they were deciding who was going to kill me. Can I just say that Barbara does kidnap so well? Yeah, yeah. This is the problem. Yeah. And we discussed this time. Gosh, she's good. Look at this. She's selling Susan's... Oh no, she's... But it's it's brutally truthful. And that's that is my problem with with 1st and 2nd season doctor is Jackie Hill is so good that she she sublimates the action and makes it realistic. So, unfortunately, it's no longer a comic strip. I believe these terrible things are happening. Yeah. And it's a little, the Crusade is a great case in point. It's really painful. He is a terrible thing. Well, yeah, he is a terrible thing, but he has... But you kind of think if we got if you got someone less talented in to play that part, it would have been less... No, no, I agree. I agree. And it is, you know, the show finding its way and all sorts of, you know, like experiments with tone and stuff. They get it wrong a lot. Star o'clock. Oh, it's another... I like when they're trying to do alien tech, like talking into a GHD hair curler or looking at a fake clock. I mean, you know, there is an attempt to do something different. But then they do something really lazy, like grab a plastic phone off a wall. Or put a safe in. Yeah. But I like when they put a man in a curtain. Do you know, I actually like that. I actually like... I've seen how you dress casually. I don't mean the man in the curtain. I mean, in science fiction. in a nice way. Like in Battlestar Galactica, where they're constantly just are pulling plastic phones out of the wall and pulling them to their head. the original, the new one. The new one. I just think space safes and space. I like space phones. would have been a bit crap. Space, safe words. Oh, ah! The greatest moment in the history of all visualness is Babs fronting Fiona Walker. Wow. That is the Eastern Antarctic Ice Shelf meeting the Continental Drift. You know that disaster is going to happen right now. Also, have you admired my artwork? painful. Is that what we call cardi fronting? It is. As opposed to shirt fronting? What do you think Fiona Walker does with that piece of art behind the back? I think she puts men through. No, that that's anticipating her appearance in iClaudius because it's that sort of lattice thing that always appears when the BBC tries to do Rome. And also, I have shit teeth. Oh, no, I know, but that's the best thing about Fiona Walsh. very teeth. She's she's actually doing medeia. She's doing Euripides right now. You could all die because I'm better than all of you until I met you, Barbara. It's so love hate, isn't it? Am I going to kill you or marry you? They both of them are just trying to decide whether or not they want to cross to the other side. Yeah, she's found. so with Fiona Walker. I'm so I just touched you. Please try to understand. sitting there. I'm better than you. And that's why I'm amazing. And by the way, furniture in that apartment, I don't know why you're objecting. Bless you. Okay, you win that one. All things will soon be heard. They surely will, honey. Because of course, surely will. Your friends were here looking for you. No, don't look hopeful. I ate that. to be back. This dress gives me no waste and I'm still more powerful than you are also. Actually, actually, Todd, your Carla. Wow. You would make a fabulous carla. Cheers. It's a lot. We can bring your hair like that. She's actually the best thing in this by a hairdryer mile, isn't she? She's really. Do you know that she was a runner-up to get Barbara? Stop it. Oh, really? That stop. I just gotcha. Oh, that's a shame. I could believe that Why are you torturing us, Todd? We've been so nice to you. Oh, yeah. Which, you know what? If she hadn't been Barbara. It would have still fit because Barbara, of course, Jackie Hill came back as Alexa. And the Fiona Walker Barbara would have come back as Lady Painford. Oh, I love this bit. What is it you can't face? Barbara figures out, the whole thing. Merely because the villains have been explaining it to her. And then we get Altos thinking he's back on play school in just a moment. Come on. We are going back. Hooray. Terrible. Oh, yeah. That goes, Ace. There's a hood drive. It's half cocked. She's got to ruin that Vidal Sassoon, which was an entire episode's budget. Oh, by the way, just because you're gay, you can still go. But Susan's so prepared. What did they get in there? They got within 10 centimetres of it without a noticing. Well, she was monologuing. She watched... She's like monoids, but with more hair. But I think they probably have a degree in space stealth. Billy's been sitting there for 2 weeks. He's bored. whatever. He needs to get a phone. I already told your old man, you cannot have my cape go away. Oh, it's you. Why do you think people don't wear capes anymore? I used to have cape. It was only a half cape. It was a nurse's cape, but like it was a 50s nurse's cape. I loved it. We don't need to that. Yeah, do I need to ask you where? In what context? No, we don't know what that? Now, Todd, the guard in the middle there who just came through. Oh, you asked who that is earlier. his name is Lan. Oh, original. Which Eric Saywood later used as the original name of Susan? as we mentioned earlier. In complete bollocks territory. At which point is this just utterly terrible? You know, I thought he was the Wilbur of Mr. S. Drew. If only I love Mr... He was an ice guard as well. All the time. All the time. Is this the point where this just stops being watchable, although we have Billy, which is actually the waxwork, Billy, because he was currently refusing to appear. Edmund Warwick in this thing. Oh, no, he moved allegedly. Dan Matronic. an early version of Roger Moore. I think he had something bad to eat at the BBC canteen. Jackie didn't bring in a chicken this lunch. It's quite short. Billy was bringing in Fortman Mason hampers, which cost the equivalent equivalent of a normal worker's week's pay. For a Dal Sassoon haircut. Yeah, yeah, no, he'd bring them in for his cast members, but he'd only share them with the people he liked. No, Taryn had to eat the basket. Oh. Are we still doing? Yes. Yes. It's really lovely that the doctor shows so much concern for Susan. It's like, oh, you were held at gunpoint and tied up and almost died. Well, I'm glad you're okay. It doesn't even look her in the eye. You're so dead to me I'm still executing Ian at this point. Those knobs are uneven. The doorknobs are uneven. Do you know what it is though? The doctor was like that. as Matt Smith says, I was so young then. He's really, he's met Barbara, so why would you want anyone else? Dum, dum, dumb. In fact, since meeting Barbara. Gasp, clutch, lapel, frown. grimace, pout. Both of them are just selling that. Oh, it's just been ruined. Yeah, not Caroline's greatest. And I'm her greatest fan. Yeah, I know. The last thing her only fan. Crazy, yeah. I mean, the weird thing is... husband or a special minder? Is he real husband? No, no, she's got a husband. There's a wizard, little man, then, company. convention. He was the Brian Miller all the time. she's got a stalker as well. Yeah, same thing. same person. As, you know, we're going on about this Vidal Sassoon haircut which will cost a... I don't think that much of it. Every story, it looks great in the 1st 5 minutes of episode one. No one had ever had it before, so to speak. Yeah, but the thing is, it's not it's not designed for adventuring on alien planets. It looks good for the 1st 5 minutes of episode one and then she screams and clutches her head and it looks like... for the rest of the episode. Oh, it's a happy slapping hoodie. You know what it is? It's a security No. That's a budget 1964 Reston Warrior robot. Very budget. But yeah, they don't even have the budget to do the cuts to jump him away. Gee, that's the sexiest thing ever, isn't it? I love that. That reminds me of my childhood. Oh, Todd. Oh, doors, doors. Look, it's just not the same when it's not written by terror. That thing's gonna hurt. Well, it depends which end you start with. Just remembering. who and where we are. Oh. It really is the best Mario robot. Now, these are great. Billy's here. These are the 3 that we should be doing snorg movies. I thought it was him. Call the poison. It wasn't Tauron. Do you know, but that was Billy's hero moment. Is that the 1st time he intentionally solves the problem? Yeah, yep, yep. Yeah, it is. Goes back to help Arbiter and then smells his fascism on... Also, suddenly the Prussians are our biggest friends because NATO. Still the prosecutor. No, everything. NATO is irrelevant these days. Only because Donald Trump tells us to. Yeah, yeah. We believe him. The weird thing is, it's kind of a bit like Scarlioni scheme and like they've planned to steal the key and sell it. It's like there's 5 of them. Boy, how are you going to sell that on eBay? Boys, boys, and love. Billy drops his 1st famous name and it's Piro, the philosopher who no one's heard of. Well, actually he dropped Gilbert and Sullivan in the Edge of Destruction. Yeah, they're fictional. You are such fans. Gentle persons. This story, dear listener, is reaching your dulcet drums at what month? This would be going out in end of October or beginning of November. Do you realise the American elections are at that time, beginning of November, we might actually have Trump as president when this goes out? Will everyone will be dead by then, then no one will hear this. Okay, that makes keys of mariners seem like reality. Well, let's just do an optional and I'll drop this back in. No, I won't. We could have Hillary Clinton as president by then. We could have that Zoltan guy who thinks we should upload our brains to computers as president by then. Horrible Zoden. And there's someone else who wants to cure things between the president and it's entirely possible. I think the keys of mariners could indeed be Robert Graves light story of what is going to happen. I heard a general on the Philip Adams Late Night Live podcast which you can find anywhere in the world. An ex-general, very senior military guy. Adam said to him. So if Trump becomes president yet, that's not going to happen, he said, well, you know, if it could, you know, it's true, isn't it? The president still, I mean, Obama still carries around the suitcase with the red button. That's not an episode of The Simpsons. That really happens. And the general said, yes, that is true. The president is the CIC of the armed forces. So if Trump becomes, you know, CIC, he said, that will not happen. Yeah, that's a very hair on the left. something is going to happen. Something is going to happen, dear listener, and I think it's going to do with Zen. Oh my god, this is so kinky. exhausted. Now, inside the suit as Yartek, leader of the alien vault. Caroline Ford. Is Stephen Dartnell? Who is later on in sense or... Yes. I think it becomes professor of mediaeval French poetry. Richard Cambridge? Oh, yeah, Mamoto. Stephen Dartnell in the censor rights is John. The crewman who's mad at the beginning and is cured. Oh, the day really looked alike. covered this. He's Arbitan. He's... Can you cover this in the most exciting episode of our podcast for all time? Sabita actually gets quite a heroic moment here. She does. She's really the Agnita of this story. Also, that mask is terrifying. I believe they're considering... And there's his eye. at this point and leaving Susan behind. Look, there's Stephen Dartnell's eye. He just blinks. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a beautiful mask. I'm feeling quite. I'm feeling a lot of mixed emotions right now. How are you all feeling? You know what? I am and I am not judging anyone who is, but personally, I am not interested in rubber or wetsuits, but I wouldn't mind a board mask. They are a beautiful creation. Also, a little bit scary. Also, there's no reason that can't be a human underneath it. I have to say that I'm feeling somewhere between 0 and one emotions at the moment. You're very binary on this, aren't you? No, no, it could be a continuum. It might be sort of 0.5. Well, there are 10 types of people in this world. Yeah, yeah. No, there are 18 according to them. No, those are in county binary and those who can't. I'm not buying this. They're not going to get married. She's going to be bitterly disappointed later if they do. What's happening? She's discovered that her father has pledged to marry Yartek barely involved. Oh, look at you. And she was like super upset. It's like a whole family tradition thing happening. Oh, it's a comedy moment. Scooby Dooby Doo. I do like that. Yeah, can't we do that thing where we were falling into the walls? Sacre blur. No, I think I think Sabetha Vera has just discovered that Altos wants to stay behind with the men in the rubber suit.its. It's an old story as well. Grandfather. Drive around the pit. No, that's it. If only they would allow gay marriage on mariners. This sort of thing wouldn't happen. Barbara and Carla could get married. Barbara and Carla will get married. Take over the whole world. Sabitha and Altos wouldn't have to get married just to sort of hide things so that he would sneak off with Yardec of the alien board. I love that he's kept on Arbiton's robe. There's like, at this point, there's literally, he will use it later, but at this point, there's literally no reason for it other than him going, yeah, I like this. I'm going to wear the robe. I'm going to wear the bling. Yep. So you've got... I'm going to keep the... I just laugh every time, like he says, keep away, the radiation from the machine has affected me. Have you you've been watching The Greatest Generation? I've listened to a few. Yeah. Bruce Foresight, yeah. Yeah. And you know that they have the This is beautiful, by the way. Look at that. No, like Yartec sticking isolinear chips from the Enterprise into the theme. Also, that's a loving touch. Did you just see that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He met he met every single gesture of that. Big finish has, of course, brought the board back in a story called Domain of the board. I've not heard it yet. But it's had good reviews that evokes the era very well. Is it set in between episodes one and 2 of the episode? version. It's great. Yes, whatever. The domain of the board. That's rubbish. should be called vengeance of the Vore. Vengeance on Vortos. Yeah, yeah, brilliant. See? Big finish. Hi at me. They never accept my pictures. I've got a great story for the valiard. Yeah, they bastards. Michael Jason doesn't get any work. For God's sake, he'd be grateful for it. Well, he still is trying to petition the BBC that he's actually a doctor. You didn't know this, don't you? God, really? Yeah, everyone were at the convention in... in Los Angeles. Like he was guest and saying, oh, you're telling everybody, you know, that he actually is a doctor. Oh, here we go. Look, it look, it always looks like one of those little people mask off. He looks like the veneer when they've got their hood up. In terminus. What? What's that? I don't know anything about it How is this 6 episodes and it's more entertaining than terminus at four? No, it is. Anything. This is a lot more fun, isn't it? Because they know they can't stretch any of the little stories out so they don't try to. No, that's that thing I say in our actual original podcast. Everything's quite tiresome, but it's over quite quickly. The power from a machine has escaped. Actually, Todd, this is... This is exactly what you were talking about, Interpretus, where Olvia can't move 2 inches forward to grab the gub. I think that was me. Okay. It's a beautiful set The restrictions of theatre acting are unfortunately, prescribing this kind of awkward response from Yartik leader of the alien board.com. And we can't just look into your face and note just that... Well, no, no, no. Although he's a totally different size. Yeah, he could be standing behind the machine, which is unfortunate. Yeah. Damn it, John Gory. Yeah, in fact, really, the sets are quite interesting and the lighting is great. He could have done this a lot better. It would have made more sense if, um, yeah, if it stood somewhere else. What you said in the 1st episode where, you know, you've got those gorgeous, serrated heels in the background that are really theatring. Ooh, you could get some lovely bit of cheddar on that, couldn't you? Yeah. No, it doesn't need to be realistic. I mean, the level at which they're operating. I think the realism or the sense of drama is heightened by the unreality. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The representation. You focus more on the performances, your dreamlike state. The other thing to consider is... It was me on the time. I just can't get this stupid hair on. What the hell are these haunts for except for things to do when they grabbed them with your friends? Tinky, Winky, shut up. It's my scene. They detect etheric commissions. But we are we are still in lime grove at this stage. It's tiny. And we've got, we've got the conscience, conscience sets and we've also got the courtroom, the courtroom antechamber set, and Carla set. I can smell tossed. Is that bad? on the same day. And they would have had to set these back up again from... Six weeks ago. Yeah. You know, so filmed like that, didn't they? Ideally, I think I seem to recall Raymond Cusick saying, Lime Grove, you could just fit 6 sets. So we've had the cell, we've had this corridor, we've got the conscience room. We've got Carla's flat. We've got... Yes, we do have legs. We've got reception and we'll have an exterior set soon, so that's your six. Carcinome set before it ever appeared. Yeah, you know, you're probably right, Richard. Altos is kissing all the girls. Yes, such a faker. Yeah, I know. So in the new version, I love those boots. The boots are great, aren't they? And the new version of you played by Tom Cruise. I'm okay. I'm not gay. I'm in love with Kitty Holmes. I'm going to bounce on your side, particularly believe me. My dear boy. I love I love Sabita's reaction. like, you stupid boy. Then a whole thing's going to explode. You said the machine in motion. was it the power? I can't remember what... He'll know all about it. What actually happens to the doe decahedron. Well, they just said them when Yartec puts in the false key, it'll blow up. Oh, really? So why would the fail safe be the whole James Bond Lotus? Yeah, yeah. It was made by the people who made the James Bond latest from Fure Eyes only. I love that they can't get out. Fiona Walker only. For God's sake, we just fairly know. By the way, I'm right behind you, look. Why haven't you obeyed my commands? I'm the one in the suit. Oh, we both are. Okay, I can see that. But I have a cloak. Yeah, well, you know, I'm still in the gimp, yeah. Of course. It's a Zentai. I will say, I think Terry Nation is quite clever here in that he's avoiding making a comment as to whether this thought control device is right or wrong by just blowing it up. I actually reckon he just hasn't thought about the implications of it. I'm with you. Todd, what do you think? You're the only sober one here. Oh, I agree. Oh, that's an explosion? Oh, yeah, that's... Oh, they found the door. But no, he often in his stuff, he doesn't really, there's a concept, but it's not necessarily thought through. No. Yeah, it's a bit like Kevin Jane Baker, really. Fighting words. Yes, you're gone, and even younger than my granddaughter. And pull in tight because we've got like 3 feet of set around us. Fine by me. I'm really sad that I won't be coming with you, no more work for me. She'll probably become an actor's agent. Like that's never happened before. Almost never happens. leaving you here to die on this planet with nothing. Oh, no, wait a second. Come in. We'll return to that later. We'll be happy with her on the train. Who's Sabitha? Yeah. No, she's terrible. Why? Altos. Although he's kind of hideous. Oh, really? He's just a wax strip, isn't he? And look, he's still in his dressing gown. Yeah, well, couldn't you? Oh, yes. Kissy, kissy. Bye bye. I had a shit time. I'm never coming back So what's happening next? I just heard Barbara say that. What's the main story? The Aztecs. That's terrible. Now, um, Catherine's Schofielders, Sabitha, actually had quite a long career through to 1989. name to Paul Scofield when she retired. Led as King Lear at the RSC. She was amazing. Listeners of this podcast may recognise her from the movie Life Force, but also the naked civil servant in which she played Mrs Pole. Oh. Is she dead body number 3 in an episode of Murder she wrote. Well, weren't we all? She played... I love the way that Bruce left. It's really good, isn't it? It's actually quite enjoyable. Are you telling me we have another? No, no, I love his story. That's the 1st episode of the Aztec is Temple of Evil. I mean, wasn't I grown? Well, gentlemen, final thought. top of my head. That didn't feel quite as long as I thought it would. How about you, Todd? No, that's what Altos said. Sorry, Todd, carry on. No, that's fine. Actually, Todd, my thighs are sort of pretty cold at the moment. Are they, Nathan? Make me just help you. Thanks, darling. How are yours? Oh, I think we might need some tag. Duffy dare. did a great job. Nathan, do you still love it? I actually think this is a romp and it is something like it's a romp. It's an avenue that the show didn't quite take. ever again for some reason. Well, except for chase. Yeah, and that's what I like about the chase and even the bits about Dalek masterplan that I like do the same thing. You know what doesn't work in this story? John Gory. I think if we had a more resolved and rounded director, it would have been superb. It's really early though. It's really early. They're still fighting their way. Brendan, what else have John Gory done? Off the top of my head, I don't know. and we are back at the menu now. He had done stuff. You know what? Much like Terry Nation, he's reliable and he gets the job done. But yes, you're right. could have been more spectacular. For me... You just hit it. Sorry, you just hit it. That's what Terry does. So you actually need someone to sublimate and elevate or you're just going to end up with... And I know you have Richard Martin doing the chase. Yeah, but I love the chase. And then we get Dougie Campfield doing... That's why... Duggee Campfield. You know what? If you've enjoyed the episodic nature of this and bouncing around to different locations. Also check out the 1st series of dark eyes. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, because I love dark eyes. That's that's very popping about to different places. But it's also really nicely done. But I actually think it's sliders. That pops around to different places too. kind of terrible. But I think that the new series does that in the early seasons where the the idea, you know, the concept of a story and an episode is still kind of like not completely settled. Is the Eccleston series still that your favourite of the new? Maybe. Of the reboot. It is still mine. I've been watching a bit of it. Yeah, but it's just so fresh and energetic and... I love the Eccleston series of the new series is probably my 4th favourite. My my top, though, is series four, tenant, a tenant and eight. I knew you would say that. For me, it goes Tenant and Tate. 1st series of Matt. Series 9 that we've just had with Capaldi and then Eccleston series. Okay. It says you who's not a fan of the new series. I am a fan of the new series, but the old, this, this, that we've just watched. This makes my heart scene whereas the new series makes my heart very happy. Yeah, I agree with you completely. It just feels like a lovely fan interpretation of something we used to really love. This is still, this is still, every bit as exciting for me as it was the 1st time I watched it when I was 12 because it evokes that feeling and it evokes, um, it evokes the friendship I had, um because, um, Peter's moved overseas now and I haven't spoken to him in many years, but it evokes that friendship. I have where, you know, he made me about 10 bootleg tapes of Doctor Who stories I didn't have. And, you know, it ranged from stuff like this to survival and the ultimate foe, you know, which I'd never seen. And, you know, they were third, fourth, 5th generation VHS. They were terrible. But that was part of the experience. Yeah, yeah. Dear listeners, if you if you've only come to the classic series with the DVDs, check out on Revenge of the Cybermen, a documentary called Checks Wise and Videotape, which shows you what VHS degradation looks like. Now, in terms of our next episode, we will be moving on to next Warriors of the Deep. I can't tell you exactly when that will be. Um, I'm hoping it will be 2 to 3 weeks after this episode because this episode goes out while I am still overseas for work. So I don't know. We're not going to have a chance to record it before I go, so it'll have to be shortly after I come back. But we will be back as soon as we possibly can. We will announce on our Facebook and Twitter at FTE podcast and flight through entirety on Twitter and iTunes as to when we will be coming back. If you have enjoyed this commentary, and certainly if you want to hear more of Richard's German accent and Richard screaming, I can't hear you. Do check out Bondfinger.com, Bondfinger cast on Twitter, on Twitter and Bondfinger on Facebook and iTunes. Any parting comments, gentlemen? Todd's good. Is it Michael? Well, I won't be back for Warriors of the Dean. No, that's true. You will join us again for the case of Andrazani. that's right What do you feel about this, Tuan? What? This thing what we just watched. The story? Yeah, the whole thing. Just the story, I think. beautifully. I actually quite like this story. I didn't as much as I just did. I think there's some epis moments that are better than others. No, I think it's really fun. I don't mind it. I think where it weakens, the performance is elevated and vice versa. It's, it's, It's a lovely ensemble piece. It's done. You can you know what's really engaging about this, the amount of adrenaline. everyone's terrified. They don't know what's going on. The script doesn't make a lot of sense. There is no plot. It's just a series of exurgencies that's elevating us to nothing. Um, and yeah, they're winging it. And the, and the fear. It's like, you know, a lot of really great performances are born from goodness me, we can't do this twice. Right. Well, just before we go, there's one more thing left to do. Bathrobes. We're putting on up and bathrobes. Now that's a lead in because what I'd like you all to do now is give me your Patrick Trouton stories that you want to that you want to nominate and I'm going to do an ending for all of them. Okay, Webber. Webber fear? I just think there's no point in doing this because by that time we'll have power off the Daleks. Well, and we have to do a Power of the Daleks commentary. If nobody else nominates it, I'm going to nominate power. Okay, I'm nominating it as well. Okay, you're nominating power. Toddles, nominate Power of the Tarlix, Tom. What's your name? Well, no, we're putting in... Todd can put in whatever he likes. Enemy of the world. Enema of the world. It's got Australia. You think it would be great to have a, like, have a poll where it was like... We have to do whatever he said, and then and then 3 is... could work. I'm really thinking hard. I'm tossing up between 2 stories. Okay, what tour are you tossing up between? The crotons. Ha, which I love. Enemy of the world. Yeah, both of them. I like both of them. So Todd, let's say one's yours and one's mine, whichever. So the nominees are Power of the Daleks, the Crotons, the Crotons Web of Fear and Enemy of the World. There's no way they're not voting for me in this poll. I know. Okay. So the winner... Maximum pal. No one can vote for the war games. We didn't say world games, is it? I should do that. So the Patrick Trout and commentary we're going to do as voted on by you, uh, which will go out between seasons 21 and 22. So between the twin dilemma and attack of the cybermen is... The enemy of the world. I didn't vote for that. The enemy of the Toxic all the time. The war games. No. This is this is what they do on news quiz when they're announcing elections. You know what, pig? You know, you know what? James, James Selwood, can do the war games by himself. That's the tag. Until we return with Warriors of the Deep. Dear listener, thank you very much for listening and good night. Good night. See you soon. I'm so glad Todd's agreed to do season one Wonder Woman podcast with me. This is delightful. Bye everyone. me