Series 3

And we’re back! It’s a new year for Doctor Who, and there’s a new companion, with a new mother who will at some point slap him in the face. But until then, it’s all about a bunch of rhinos menacing a hospital on the moon, which is just the kind of premise literally any TV show would come up with. Welcome aboard, Smith and Jones.

This week, we’re joined by Pete Lambert and Conrad Westmaas for a social history of Elizabethan England, a whirlwind tour of the life and works of Shakespeare, and some serious criticism of Martha’s taste in men. It’s Tuesday, so this must be Hamlet — it’s The Shakespeare Code.

This week, Brendan’s high on Honesty, James is driving naked, and Nathan can’t stop scratching himself for some reason, while special guest star Erik Stadnik brings some philosophy and literary criticism to our discussion of Gridlock.

This week, we learn that the mortal enemy of showtunes is capitalism, that the mortal enemy of some Doctor Who fans is fun, and that the mortal enemy of the Doctor has descended upon Depression-Era New York in an exciting new thematic guise. The show must go on, in spite of the Daleks in Manhattan.

This week, we discuss human nature, animatronic willies, easily avoidable deaths and the ethics of cooking pork. Which is probably just a way of distracting ourselves from the Evolution of the Daleks.

This week, we’re hosting our first ever black-tie function, and you’re all invited! Nathan’s scoffing all the canapés, Brendan keeps being mistaken for the waiter, and somewhere upstairs is a roaring and slavering Colin Neal, who will join us later — we hope — to discuss The Lazarus Experiment.

This week, we hop aboard the SS Pentallian just in time for it to start plummeting into the heart of a blazing sun. And so while we wait for our inevitable incineration, we answer trivia questions about Bananarama, forget everyone’s names, throw shade on the Captain’s marriage, and spend far too much time crawling around the ship, gurning and gnashing our teeth. Fortunately, it’s all over in 42 minutes.

Well, the Doctor has been exiled to Earth again, but instead of hobnobbing with lizard men, he’s spending his time flirting with Matron and delivering incredibly tedious history lessons. There’s some indefensible name-dropping in this episode, but after all, that’s just Human Nature.

Simon, Todd and Nathan are still trapped in 1913, which is better, at least, than being trapped in chains, a collapsing galaxy, every mirror, or a scarecrow. With World War I on the horizon, all three of them await the answer to a single question: Will John Smith have the courage to leave the stage, so that the Doctor can confront The Family of Blood?

This week, we’re joined by Lizbeth Myles from Verity! podcast to discuss a terrifying romantic comedy about the brevity of human life. It’s called Blink. People seem to like it.

This week, we’re joined by TV’s Adam Richard to talk about Martha, the Master, Heather Locklear, Coronation Street and Russell’s original plans for the end of the season. And we also talk about a little Doctor Who episode that we like to call Utopia.

We’re on the run this week — skulking in shadows and eating chips while talking about the Master’s backstory and the deplorable state of British politics. Which is a normal Sunday for us, even when we’re not talking about The Sound of Drums.

It’s the last episode of Series 3, so we’re walking the Earth and telling anyone who’ll stand still for long enough about our favourite television show in the whole world. It’s Last of the Time Lords.